Future history

“Quiet please children.” says the museum tour guide gathering their attention. “Now although we laugh at them today”, she continues, “human beings were nevertheless the first species on our planet to build civilisations.”

Some of children snicker at this: they’ve seen pictures of humans and their hovels.

“What happened to them?” asks one child.

“Was it a giant meteorite?” another wants to know.

“Or a terrible plague?” offers yet another eager face.

“Not exactly.” the guide explains, “The human civilisations thrived for thousands of years, they built giant towers, wrote magnificent books and even sent men into space.” She clears her throat. The children look up at her. “Then”, she continues, “they invented the internet and became the first and only species in history to masturbate themselves into extinction.”