Fancied a rant

I will get back to proper erotica and story telling soon but right now I fancied a good old fashioned rant about shit.

we are what we are and what we are is apes – ask any professional, any cunt that knows anything about human beings, like a shrink or a therapist, they’ll tell you. ooh, that’s just denial or projection or whatever.

look at me? i’ve got a laptop and central heating and a guitar and an electric piano. I’ve got a a yukka plant in my fucking living room thanks to central heating and a playstation that has little universes that can just be plugged into it, i got shelves full of books and a laptop that contains more knowledge than any man can ever know. i’ve got a glow in the dark plastic tarantula that took ten weeks to build and a teddy bear called Denis Bearkamp (i never take my teddy bear to bed with me, ok?) i’ve had girlfriends on the other side of the planet and a bamboo shelving system that could collapse any second and i would throw it away if it didn’t look so cool. I have a thousand books and a thousand music CDs, i have hundreds of DVDs but i am still an ape, i wank like one, i eat like one, i look at the opposite sex like one and i enjoy life like one. stop looking for the spiritual meaning for life, the true meaning of life lies within the animal. grunt, fart, howl, throw your shit around and masturbate in public, panting and screaming, as a sign of your disapproval. sure, do it online, throw your shit at someone on another continent block that bitch from Zimbabwe or New Zealand but never, ever forget that you are an ape and be proud of that – its our heritage, our history, our roots – oooo eeee aaaa – repeat after me ooooo eeeee aaaa. learn it remember it, never, ever forget it.

24 responses

  1. I love this rant because its so well worded. I agree with this rant to a degree becuase, while I like to pretend to be ‘evolved’ the truth is that all humans are imperfect beasts capable of crude, ugly displays of their baser animalistic instincts. We can wear pants and put on fancy hats, but that’s a lot like trying to cover up a bad smell with a bouquet of roses; it doesn’t change the truth, it just puts it out of mind. Still, I am of the belief that there is at least one thing that does separate us from the beasts, and that is our ability to attempt to change what we are; our aptitude to suppress (at least on occasion) our inner creature. Perhaps all this does is fill the world with fragrant denial, but it is what it is and (in my mind) it beats fondling my own fecal matter. 😛

    P.S. G.T.A. = best anger management therapy currently known to man.

    12.02.23 at 20.12

    • wow robin – that’s what i call a response – and how well put – wow – you are, of course, quite right, we are the only animal that can reflect on our own behaviour and deliberately change it – we are the only animal that can imagine a better future for ourselves and take steps to ensure it – i don’t think, however that this separates us from our animal inheritance. our self awareness, i fear, is nothing more than a biological advantage, like the cheetah’s ability to run fast or an eagle’s ability to fly – the human desire to set ourselves above and separate from the other animals has led us into all sorts of problems and there are, today, any number of species that no longer exist, simply because we do. perhaps what i wanted to, more succinctly, say is that we must not forget or ignore our animal heritage or consider ourselves to be above it – sometimes i read back through my blog and wonder if it is nothing more than a public display of my own masturbation, just without the lurid imagery – so, rather than hurl poo at you or jerk off in front of you, can i just say “ooooo, eeeee” and leap up and down frantically?

      and yes GTA allows my inner psycho some space too and allows the rest of my psyche a chance to breath and get on with pretending that we are somehow better than our animal brothers and sisters

      ooo eee aaa xxx

      12.02.23 at 20.57

      • I couldn’t begin to argue that our self awareness is anything other than the human equivalent of a cheetah’s speed, since I have used this same argument myself in the past. I have also been known to state that the road to hell (figurative hell; I don’t believe in it as a literal place) is paved not with good intentions, but built brick by brick under the feet of human desire.
        Since you have stated your points too powerfully for me to argue against, there is only one option remaining to me… and that is similarly leap up and down, pound my chest and grunt “OOOOOOOOO EEEEE OOOOO AAA AAHHHH” in response. {NOTE: I will assume no responsibility if this complete surrender of control then leads to an overwhelming urge to scour you for louse.}

        12.02.23 at 22.58

        • You really are quite wonderful Robin

          12.02.24 at 02.36

  2. Ooo ooo eeee aaa! Oooo eee ee aaaa!!

    12.02.23 at 14.34

    • my thoughts exactly

      12.02.23 at 17.15

      • It felt so good to do that.

        Amazing relaxation technique! 😛

        12.02.23 at 17.19

        • good to hear – it always helps me – what did you do today?

          12.02.23 at 17.42

          • I finally finished my yearbook compilation that I was supposed to send in a week back. Lol.

            12.02.23 at 17.44

            • That’s good then, isn’t it. I would still suggest kicking a random stranger in the nuts and running away giggling
              I am happy to hear you sound more upbeat. I have had a difficult day, full of friends who are having a rough time but now I intend to get intimate with my playstation, GTA lets me drive a school bus into a church and I find that soothes my soul a little, although I find such therapy seems to be a boy thing.
              Remember one thing: you are a star

              12.02.23 at 17.50

              • Yes. It’s something. One step at a time. 😛

                I’m sad to hear that your day didn’t go so well. Maybe there’s still time for it to turn around. 🙂 GTA isn’t only a boy thing. How dare you say such a thing? :O 😛

                I always keep the disk with me, whenever I’m bored travelling. My PSP is my constant companion though I do find God of War to be more therapeutic. The issue with that game is that once it’s over, it’s boring to play it all over again. GTA never ends! 😛

                And sweetheart, you’re a star too in my books! 🙂

                12.02.23 at 17.58

                • sorry to have been so sexist, you are quite right. i loved god of war but like you say, it ends. GTA, on the other hand (San Andreas in particular) lets me be an asshole whenever I fancy – i have knocked up more hours on it that it would be embarrassing to say lol
                  my day was not so bad and i have the best takeaways in the world round here and have several episodes of califirnication and the simpsons to catch up on. fuck work and fuck the world, say i x

                  12.02.23 at 18.04

                  • Aaah. I’m still completing Vice City. The days that I’m super angry, Tekken’s always been my best friend. You don’t have to use your brain, and you get to kick a lot of ass! 😛

                    I tried downloading San Andreas on my laptop, but it’s not the same. The only game I can bear to play with a keyboard is NFS.

                    I’m glad your days turning out for the better! 😀 Have fun watching Californication and the Simpsons.

                    12.02.23 at 18.10

                    • I love tekken tag tournament – i always play as the school girl as it is such fun to kick the living shit out of all the tough guys and she is the only character you can pick that doesn’t involve wailing on a child – you enjoy your day too – i never completed VC, too Miami Vice for my liking – have fun too, being you and don’t be no stranger sweeddee 🙂

                      12.02.23 at 18.16

                    • Haha. Lily’s my favorite. I’m not sure if she’s the school girl you’re talking about.

                      Now you’ve got me craving me for Tekken. I might go and play a game or two. 😛

                      12.02.23 at 18.22

  3. You could have added panting and screaming….

    12.02.23 at 10.18

    • Thank you Laura, great suggestion, I just did – although probably not where you thought I would 🙂

      12.02.23 at 10.26

      • No, I’m pretty sure that’s where you would have put it! It’s where I would have anyway!

        12.02.23 at 11.35

        • lol, as they say. thanks. you have not posted for some time and i have missed you. i hope all is well in the land of laurania

          12.02.23 at 11.54

        • i love it when i realise i am not anywhere near as original as i thought

          12.02.23 at 12.30

          • is laurania my world? it’s not that you’re not original, just that that part of mind of our minds is probably similar, that and there a suprising lack of people that think like that. when they do, it’s best to get on with them!

            12.02.23 at 18.47

            • what would you call your world? i am lucky, my surname is ‘mew’ so i call mine ‘mewtopia’ – it has always been the case that original thinkers are as rare as fairy piss and yes, we should stick together – your art feels to me like my words do to me – it is not surprising to me that folk like us are rare, it has to be so – someone once said to me that when you die, the universe ends, i laughed at him and bitch-slapped him but now i see that he was right – it is a difficult philosophy to get your head around but now i see it – its true – soon we will die – one day no-one will know we even existed – the earth will still spin around the sun and our planet will be barren – i do not say this as a pessimist, quite the opposite, i say it to highlight how wonderful we are, how rare, how precious – it cracks me up, because i am nothing more than an ape, an ape with the best smartphone money can buy, but an ape nevertheless. maybe this shit has never happened ever before in the whole wide universe – tell you one thing… you have never happened before in this universe and you never will again. so yeah, let’s get on with each other 🙂

              12.02.23 at 19.15

              • Don’t know really. My art teacher used to say, yep, look, Laura’s off on her planet Zog again, that’s where I guess I go sometimes. But other people are allowed on my planet, just that I’m very selective about who is allowed there.

                12.02.24 at 09.02

  4. Although I’m a new follower, if I had any ideas of “unfollowing” (which I didn’t), you would have just changed my mind. Awesome. Fucking. Post.

    12.02.23 at 05.28

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