Bare your sexual soul day

Gillian Colbert of Black Door Press has declared February 28th “Bare your sexual soul day”. So I thought I’d have a go. Before I start I want to recommend this post by lovesexandmarriage.com, which is part of that. Its red hot stuff.

I thought about writing about one of those sexual fantasies that I’m kinda ashamed of, like having the woman I love make me watch her get fucked by another, better endowed, man and then have her watch me get fucked by him, but then I thought “No. I can write up a dirty fantasy any day of the week. I can go deeper than that.” So, what better way to bare my sexual soul than to tell you all what a slut I am and then to tell you to all fuck off!

I have had to do a lot of thinking recently – its been horrid – I’ve hurt people over the last few months – but I’ll come back to that.

You meet a lot of people on the internet – I seem to meet a lot of women – I like to think that its because women like me and my words but it may be just that I like them.
I don’t know.
I looked through my Farcebook mates just now and over 70% of them are women. I thought about the people I know in meat-space, and wondered if it was the same. At first I thought ‘No. Most of my mates are men.’ I love my male friends, we seem to understand each other, the importance of video games and football, and we get to say stuff you can never say in front of women and it is fun and dear. Then I thought about who I talk to about the really important things in life and realised it was my girl friends.
So, I still don’t know.

I am a slut.

I never used to think that you could fall in love online, I thought people like that were nuts, but I was wrong, incredibly wrong, and the last 6 month have been a whirlwind of virtual sex and genuine emotion. My heart has been broken by a single facebook message, and crushed by being blocked. I have broken hearts too though. I have been as big an asshole online as I have been offline, maybe bigger.

I have made deep spiritual connections with a woman with beautiful eyes and shared filthy fantasies with another that has a giggle that sparkles like a mountain brook. I have been dominated by a truly gorgeous woman from far away and done some disgusting things as a result and loved every moment. I have fallen in and out of love. I’ve had fucking rows with women I’ve never even kissed. I’ve laughed and cried and Farcebooked and Skyped. I’ve met women from all over the world and from every time zone. I’ve been asleep when they’ve been awake and vice versa and had to invent the word ‘morvening’ just to describe this weird phenomenon.

As you can see, I’m a slut, emotionally rather than physically, although I can be that too – you only have to ask.

I have never sent unsolicited photos of my dick to anyone, I know women don’t like that but I have wanted to (although I have sent a few solicited ones and if you want one just say, I have some corkers). I understand why men do it. We are proud of our willies and want to show them off. Like a child with their favourite toy or a fanboy with his iPhone, we want to shout “Look what I’ve got!” First thing I did when I got a video camera was film myself cumming. I don’t know why, I just had to, it seemed like the obvious thing to do. I never sent it to anyone though (well OK, one person, shhh you). It looks best when viewed in slo-mo. I asked a female friend today if that was sick. she said it wasn’t sick, but it was a bit pathetic and rather silly. She also asked to see the video.

Someone said to me that you can’t be in love with more than one person at a time – but that is bollocks – I’m in love with all of you.

I’ve had incredible sexual experiences with women I’ve never actually touched and shared mind-blowing orgasms with them. Thank you Skype, thank you Farcebook. I’ve had better online sex than a lot of the sex I’ve had in the flesh and I have made real, deep, significant connections with women I think perhaps I will always love. I’ve made friends that I hope I have for life.

One thing that has to be said for internet relationships is that you can fart and no-one really cares.

Not sure if I should have written any of this.

I fall in love too easily which makes the internet a romantic death trap for me. So, if you care, stop following me, stop liking my posts, stop turning me on. If you are a woman, and attractive, then please, please fuck off.

PS: Wanted: single mum, must be creative, foreign and intelligent and must like being fucked around a lot.

67 responses

  1. so many women, so little time. you are a very busy man. they won’t leave you, you just made them want you more. well played.

    13.06.10 at 12.24

  2. Pingback: The Shame Effect; or Closing Your Eyes Won't Help | Alchemy of the Word

  3. Pingback: Guestblog: Mew Tube « Erotixx

  4. I tried to comment earlier, don’t know what happened. So I’ll do it again. Everybody’s pretty much said all the stuff I wanted to say. So I’ll leave it at this:
    This post is pretty much as awesome as giant robots. With lasers. Seriously.

    12.03.04 at 09.24

    • love it – thanks

      12.03.04 at 10.16

  5. I have nothing new to say to this. I think your gaggle of adoring femmes have pretty much wiped the floor with any compliment or commendation I was going to give so I’ll just say this.
    Reading this was pretty much as awesome as giant robots.

    12.03.04 at 08.23

    • thanks dahlia for such sweet originality

      12.03.04 at 10.16

      • and thank you for your honesty. I haven’t quite gotten there yet.

        12.03.04 at 17.02

        • i hope you do and look forward to reading it

          12.03.04 at 17.38

          • 😀 As do I. Though I don’t know if I look forward to reading it. Haha

            12.03.04 at 17.40

  6. Pingback: The Shame Effect; or Closing Your Eyes Won’t Help « Alchemy of the Word

  7. Hey Kyle!
    I found your blog last week when The Plumber was featured in Flash Fiction. No small feat by the way.
    I loved how you wrote “The Plumber” and realized that is what my book is missing. I am finishing up a paranormal thriller and literally typed in “sex scene” in the places where I have got to go back and write something.
    I am really creative and don’t find writing difficult at all, but for some reason I am so up tight about this. It was suggested to me to read above my erotic writing level so I am back to peruse and peruse I will tomorrow when the day is young. I mentioned your blog in the comment section of http://universecityblog.wordpress.com/2012/02/29/oh-you-write-those-books-on-writing-romance-by-roni-loren/

    12.03.01 at 04.31

    • thank you so much susie, for reading my nonsense and for mentioning me, it means the world to me. a lot of people are uptight about writing about sex, the trick i use is to abstain from any actual sexual activity, and that way i find it has to come out some other way (sorry for the awful pun) it is not easy and gets harder as the days progress (oops, sorry another terrible pun). i love your blog and would adare to read any sexy stuff you wrote. thanks again for your comment.

      12.03.01 at 10.25

      • Thanks for the advice Kyle. We’ll see what I come up with…

        12.03.03 at 15.26

        • look forward to it

          12.03.03 at 15.41

  8. Kyle… First and foremost, thanks for sharing and taking part in our little dare. It was a heartfelt post.

    Second, although I am a novice blogger, and by no means have any right to discuss what works out here in this strange world, one thing I have learned is that everyone (well, okay, almost everyone) respects honesty. If we aren’t honest then what the fuck is the point. For me, posting my “story” was really hard, because that is something I’ve never shared with people before. Sharing my “sexual history” was probably harder, because there were things that I was not proud of. But, by the end of the day, it all has made me a better person.

    The fact that you have enough balls to put this out there, and enough self-awareness to even recognize it, makes you, my dear, fucking rock!

    12.02.29 at 01.47

    • Thank you – i loved your story, for its honesty too but mostly because it was really hot and seductively written.

      It was scary to do – thanks for giving me the idea – I think I like dares, give me another.

      12.02.29 at 01.54

  9. Gillian Colbert

    Thank you so much for playing … your definitely up at BDP.

    I found this poignant, sweet and slutty too!

    12.02.29 at 01.06

    • glad to hear it – thank you – it wasn’t easy, but i take it that that was the idea

      12.02.29 at 01.10

      • Gillian Colbert

        Correct … I think we all pushed our boundaries today. I know I did. I’m grateful you joined in.

        12.02.29 at 01.11

        • you sure did and it was beautiful

          12.02.29 at 01.16

  10. Pingback: It’s Bare Your Sexual Soul Day « Black Door Press

  11. TheOthers1

    People appreciate honesty. I appreciate it at least.

    12.02.28 at 22.44

    • thank you – it wasn’t easy

      12.02.28 at 22.45

  12. Reblogged this on artfulhelix and commented:
    Sex a topic most keep behind doors, some have it over the Internet. Others, like Kyle, write about it! Stories containing sex, love, want, need, power, submission, and even death, a true blog to follow. Check out this post and more of his, you wont regret it.
    Sorry no Artist of the day today, shit hit the fan, so Dark Writing coming soon, I promise!

    12.02.28 at 22.35

    • thank you
      *blushes*
      now i have other people posting unsolicited pic of my dick, metaphorically speaking of course lol
      thank you again

      12.02.28 at 22.40

      • Your welcome, I mite just have to try my hand at writing it, hmmm. We will see 🙂

        12.02.28 at 22.49

    • looking forward to it

      12.02.29 at 10.29

  13. Okay. This may be the wrong choice of words, but I really found the post to be sweet. *so sue me*

    🙂 You aren’t losing anyone! I love the honesty in your post. ❤

    12.02.28 at 22.20

    • thank you – it was a bit of a risk i think and terrifying to do – still shaking from hitting the ‘publish’ button lol – thanks again

      12.02.28 at 22.23

      • It must’ve been hard. Kudos to you. I don’t think I can ever bare my soul like this.

        12.02.28 at 22.24

        • hey, thanks – how about you start by just showing me your tits lol

          12.02.28 at 22.27

          • ooh and i love the new gravator btw

            12.02.28 at 22.29

          • HAHA!

            Like I said, I could never bare myself like that! 😛

            12.02.28 at 22.32

            • i know, and i joke, i think tomorrow i will just post a pic of my dick: it will save a lot of time and embarrassment LOL

              12.02.28 at 22.35

              • Hahaha. I think you’d please your female readers big time! *wink*

                12.02.28 at 22.45

                • i don’t think so lol – i think women prefer words and feelings – the temtation is there though lol again x

                  12.02.28 at 22.48

                  • * temptation – god, i find bad spelling even more embarrassing

                    12.02.28 at 22.49

                  • Haha!! Maybe.. But you never know..

                    12.02.28 at 22.49

                    • i never do – ain’t that half the fun?

                      12.02.28 at 22.51

                    • Too true! 😛

                      12.02.28 at 22.52

  14. I commend you on the guts it must have taken to write and post something this personal. Honesty is hard.

    12.02.28 at 22.01

    • i was inspired by someone who had the guts to post an unedited piece as the result of a dare

      12.02.28 at 22.02

      • ha! That was nothing in comparison… it didn’t take a portion of the courage that this post did. This is raw and deep and, I imagine, it was just a little painful to send out into the world so… if it’s all the same to you… I’m going to keep following – I’m not much in ‘fuck off’ kind of mood today.

        12.02.28 at 22.07

        • it was painful to post, yes. my finger hovered over the ‘publish’ button all day. i think writers need to say what others can’t and so decided i’d try to be true to that.

          12.02.28 at 22.10

          • Well said, well written and well done. Kyle… most of us will never get this close to a complete stripping of the soul no matter how long we write or how honest we try to be. You should be proud of yourself today.

            12.02.28 at 22.14

            • our conversation last night inspired me to do it: writers should be brave – i think people like it when we bare ourselves: it saves them having to do it.

              That was just me stripped to my underwear. I’m not sure if i could go all the way lol. maybe

              12.02.28 at 22.20

              • I’m glad our conversations aren’t just inspiring one of us, lol, that’s good to know.
                Now that you see it’s not as scary as you thought to get down to your skivvies and go for a stroll, who knows… maybe one day we’ll all ready the ‘Truly Naked Kyle’. Might even make for a best seller.

                12.02.28 at 22.24

                • i doubt that hon but if you think it might give a girl a laugh or two, i’m willing to give it a go

                  12.02.29 at 01.29

  15. I am not going any where, lol. I hope we stay friends, I like our little back and fourths! I would do a post on the subject but it doesn’t fit my blog, and I think I would loose readers. To tell the truth I am a total freak! I meant my husband on the Internet, had phone sex, Internet sex, joined a site where I could post dirty photos of my self. I can’t help it, like you can’t. Its a big part of who I am, I love sex! Don’t feel to dirty, you are not alone, just braver then most to tell the truth. xoxo

    12.02.28 at 21.57

    • i thought that when i started posting erotica that my followers would flee but they did not, they doubled in number. i think reader want their writers to be brave and expose themselves – thanks for recognising that this was hard to write

      12.02.28 at 21.59

      • I understand how hard it was. I don’t think I could bare it all, but I figured a little in your comments would work for the occasion. You know we all love you to!

        12.02.28 at 22.04

        • it was like walking down the street in your lover’s underwear: thrilling and shameful but something really worth trying lol

          12.02.28 at 22.06

          • Grate metaphor! lol. I don’t think you could write such grate erotica if you weren’t the way you are. Lets put it this way, I have never realy liked erotica for the most part, I don’t read full out romance, but I LOVE your writing!!!!

            12.02.28 at 22.11

            • as writers we must say the things that readers can’t – and i’ve just got four more followers so clearly no-one is getting the ‘fuck off’ bit – i hoped they wouldn’t lol

              12.02.28 at 22.15

              • sweet, of course the fuck off bit can be taken a different way 😉 wink wink

                12.02.28 at 22.28

  16. veronicahaunanifitzhugh

    fucked off and fucking loving it.

    12.02.28 at 21.46

    • thank you honey – that was the hardest thing i ever wrote.

      12.02.28 at 21.48

      • veronicahaunanifitzhugh

        why?

        12.02.28 at 21.49

        • because i was truly honest and risked scaring people away

          12.02.28 at 21.50

          • veronicahaunanifitzhugh

            you don’t think you already scare people?

            12.02.28 at 23.29

            • i try not to and hope i don’t but know i am not from an ordinary mold and if that scares people then fuck those people lol

              12.02.28 at 23.33

              • veronicahaunanifitzhugh

                you are going to try to fuck scared people as they run away? interesting way to stay fit.

                12.02.29 at 03.08

            • do i scare you? i really hope not because i adore you

              12.02.28 at 23.34

              • veronicahaunanifitzhugh

                you don’t scare me. sometimes, you bug me, when i ask you to do something and you don’t complete it or do it or do it as requested but still beg for my attention.

                12.02.29 at 03.09

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