Bare your sexual soul day
Gillian Colbert of Black Door Press has declared February 28th “Bare your sexual soul day”. So I thought I’d have a go. Before I start I want to recommend this post by lovesexandmarriage.com, which is part of that. Its red hot stuff.
I thought about writing about one of those sexual fantasies that I’m kinda ashamed of, like having the woman I love make me watch her get fucked by another, better endowed, man and then have her watch me get fucked by him, but then I thought “No. I can write up a dirty fantasy any day of the week. I can go deeper than that.” So, what better way to bare my sexual soul than to tell you all what a slut I am and then to tell you to all fuck off!
I have had to do a lot of thinking recently – its been horrid – I’ve hurt people over the last few months – but I’ll come back to that.
You meet a lot of people on the internet – I seem to meet a lot of women – I like to think that its because women like me and my words but it may be just that I like them.
I don’t know.
I looked through my Farcebook mates just now and over 70% of them are women. I thought about the people I know in meat-space, and wondered if it was the same. At first I thought ‘No. Most of my mates are men.’ I love my male friends, we seem to understand each other, the importance of video games and football, and we get to say stuff you can never say in front of women and it is fun and dear. Then I thought about who I talk to about the really important things in life and realised it was my girl friends.
So, I still don’t know.
I am a slut.
I never used to think that you could fall in love online, I thought people like that were nuts, but I was wrong, incredibly wrong, and the last 6 month have been a whirlwind of virtual sex and genuine emotion. My heart has been broken by a single facebook message, and crushed by being blocked. I have broken hearts too though. I have been as big an asshole online as I have been offline, maybe bigger.
I have made deep spiritual connections with a woman with beautiful eyes and shared filthy fantasies with another that has a giggle that sparkles like a mountain brook. I have been dominated by a truly gorgeous woman from far away and done some disgusting things as a result and loved every moment. I have fallen in and out of love. I’ve had fucking rows with women I’ve never even kissed. I’ve laughed and cried and Farcebooked and Skyped. I’ve met women from all over the world and from every time zone. I’ve been asleep when they’ve been awake and vice versa and had to invent the word ‘morvening’ just to describe this weird phenomenon.
As you can see, I’m a slut, emotionally rather than physically, although I can be that too – you only have to ask.
I have never sent unsolicited photos of my dick to anyone, I know women don’t like that but I have wanted to (although I have sent a few solicited ones and if you want one just say, I have some corkers). I understand why men do it. We are proud of our willies and want to show them off. Like a child with their favourite toy or a fanboy with his iPhone, we want to shout “Look what I’ve got!” First thing I did when I got a video camera was film myself cumming. I don’t know why, I just had to, it seemed like the obvious thing to do. I never sent it to anyone though (well OK, one person, shhh you). It looks best when viewed in slo-mo. I asked a female friend today if that was sick. she said it wasn’t sick, but it was a bit pathetic and rather silly. She also asked to see the video.
Someone said to me that you can’t be in love with more than one person at a time – but that is bollocks – I’m in love with all of you.
I’ve had incredible sexual experiences with women I’ve never actually touched and shared mind-blowing orgasms with them. Thank you Skype, thank you Farcebook. I’ve had better online sex than a lot of the sex I’ve had in the flesh and I have made real, deep, significant connections with women I think perhaps I will always love. I’ve made friends that I hope I have for life.
One thing that has to be said for internet relationships is that you can fart and no-one really cares.
Not sure if I should have written any of this.
I fall in love too easily which makes the internet a romantic death trap for me. So, if you care, stop following me, stop liking my posts, stop turning me on. If you are a woman, and attractive, then please, please fuck off.
PS: Wanted: single mum, must be creative, foreign and intelligent and must like being fucked around a lot.