The ambulance

An ambulance pulls up outside and I think, “Oh no! Who now?” I get up and peer through the window. Two of the paramedics that climb out, slinging bags of serious looking equipment over their shoulders, are women. One is quite chubby but I like women in uniform. I have to remind myself that someone is ill and that getting an erection right now is not appropriate, that one of my neighbours is ill.

I am friends with my neighbours and a sense of dread drenches me as I run through, in my mind, who it might be, what might be wrong. There are police out there too now, and I watch as they walk up my path. “Wrong house!” I shout through the window, worried now that whoever it is that needs help is not getting it. Mrs May next door, is ninety-something. We chat often and I bring her her morning paper. She reads The Mail and I joke with her about how she must be some kind of right-winger. “I like the crossword.” she tells me. We must have had that conversation 1,000 times. At least. I well up at the thought that something bad might have happened to her. The cops and medics are ringing my doorbell. “Wrong house.” I shout again, but they don’t hear me because of the thick glass we have, to shield us from the passing planes overhead as they approach Heathrow.

I go to answer the door, to explain, but it is too late, they have kicked in the front door. I turn to watch them kick my flat door in too and stare, horror struck, at my own lifeless corpse on the couch, wrists, gaping, red, open grins, a huge pool of congealing blood making sticky, ugly sounds against the feet of the paramedics as they approach my dead body.

18 responses

  1. Oh fuck! Bravo man!

    12.03.15 at 20.09

    • x

      12.03.15 at 20.15

      • Also… You’ve you been nominated for the inspirational blogger award! 😀 The instructions for accepting it are on my wall.

        12.03.15 at 20.48

  2. Gillian Colbert

    Crazy … that was a major twist. Unfortunately, I’ve had cops beat down my door for being at the wrong house. It was terrifying!

    Great writing …

    12.03.15 at 18.12

    • i bet – thank you hon – loving your latest challenge to us all

      12.03.15 at 18.13

      • Gillian Colbert

        Me too 😉

        12.03.15 at 18.34

  3. TheOthers1

    OMG. :/

    Well written, but yikes.

    12.03.15 at 17.38

    • glad it hit you between the eyes

      12.03.15 at 17.39

      • TheOthers1

        The gut is probably more accurate.

        12.03.15 at 17.42

        • just glad it worked – thank you

          12.03.15 at 17.43

  4. Holy shite, I didn’t see that coming! Beautifully grim.
    Damn it! I let myself get distracted again, lol… but a nice little piece of writing sir.

    12.03.15 at 15.39

    • i was gonna write that s&m piece and then an ambulance pulled up outside and the story just hit me so i wrote it in as long as it takes to read

      12.03.15 at 15.43

      • lol You got to love when that happens.

        12.03.15 at 15.46

      • Instant inspiration I mean… not the possible illness or injury of your neighbours!

        12.03.15 at 15.46

        • yeah got you x

          12.03.15 at 16.46

  5. Awesome fiction and vivid description. Are you working on a book?

    12.03.15 at 15.38

    • its going to be called “if you leave me i will have you killed – the true confessions of an internet man-whore” or maybe “the big red book of pop up trains”, i haven’t decided yet
      thank you

      12.03.15 at 15.42

      • Love True Confessions.
        Pop up trains! I could help with the artwork on that since that’s how I make my Christmas cards…I gotta believe there is some double entendre I am not getting though…

        12.03.15 at 15.48

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