So there’s this writer cunt, OK? Kyle sumffin’, an’ ‘e’s been saying shit abaht me an’ Micky on the fuckin’ internet, on his gay-arsed blog, the cunt. Obviously this can’t be allowed to stand, you know what I mean?

So, I bells Mickey an’ ‘e’s fuckin’ fumin’, right, gettin’ ‘is tools togevver, chargin’ up ‘is nail gun an’ that, so’s we can go rahnd there and teach the cunt a lesson. Then ‘e says, “‘ang on, why don’t we send the girls in?” Now, that’s a right cuntish suggestion, coz our women are way fuckin’ crueller than we are. I mean, I like to jump up and down on a cunt’s face like the best of ’em, but I like to get in an’ out, quick like, do the damage an’ get back down the pub, less chance of gettin’ nicked that way too, know what I mean?

Any’ow Mickey’s gotta point, this writer cunt needs needs shit explaining to ‘im carefully, an’ ‘oo better to do that than the girls? Likeisay, much meaner than us they are. My Trace fuckin’ revels in it, spend fuckin’ hours working on a cunt, that girl can. Once right, she come ‘ome wiv this bloke’s dick in ‘er bag an’ fed it to the dog. Fuckin’ ‘ell, ‘ow we laughed. Sometimes I fink she gets some kinda sexual kick aht of it, an’ I don’t blame ‘er. I mean, I ain’t ‘ad an ‘ard-on for eight years, not since the ‘eart attack an’ them puttin’ me on these beta blockers like. Well, you can’t blame a girl for wantin’ to get ‘er rocks off nah and then can yer, know what I mean?

So I gives ‘er the writer’s address an’ tells ‘er to take her time but to leave the cunt breavin’. She gets ‘er little blow torch ready and some pliers and some fuse wire an’ bells Shaz, Mickey’s bird. Before she ‘eads off I say “‘Ang on, why dontcha take little Whitney wiv yer?” She’s eleven now and it would be good for ‘er to see ‘ow we do business. I mean, I’m a parent, it would be irresponsible not to take an interest in me kid’s education, know what I mean?


Hang on a sec, I will finish this post in a minute. There are people at the door, two women and a young girl.


more in this series

18 responses

  1. Okay am caught up on thhis series now but would love to have read one about after you opened the door

    12.04.26 at 12.34

    • haha – maybe then

      12.04.26 at 12.36

      • Am sure a man of your talents would find a way to resolve the situation without recieving more bodily harm than is pleasurable

        12.04.26 at 12.46

        • i think that if those girls knew what pleasure it gave me, then it would just make it worse for me
          nevertheless Trace part two is getting drafted as we speak

          12.04.26 at 13.19

          • that is ‘drafted’ and not a typo lol

            12.04.26 at 13.34

            • haha yes – i don’t think trace is the sort to let me decide when to stop. lol
              i hope you enjoy the sequel

              12.04.26 at 13.37

  2. …sure can’t blame a girl few wantin’ to get ‘er rocks off!!!

    I love it!

    Bisous My One and Only Kyle,

    12.03.31 at 11.01

    • i love you dawn

      12.03.31 at 11.08

      • I love you too!

        12.03.31 at 18.11

        • good to know – i am all warm and glowy now

          12.03.31 at 18.25

          • Me too.

            12.03.31 at 18.28

            • we simply have to meet, i will feed the white charger now and gallop across that silly channel – just say the word

              12.03.31 at 18.38


    12.03.30 at 12.56

    • sea bass?

      12.03.30 at 14.13

      • Yep. It’s A Line From The Flick DUMB AND DUMBER. Sorry, It Just Makes Me Laugh, And I So Enjoy Whippin’-It-Out When Someone Mentions Fighting In Any Way. It Generally Makes Other Folks Smile AND Giggle Just A Tad.
        You KNOW It Made You Smile, Kyle 😉

        12.03.30 at 14.16

        • it really did brad – thanks – gonna use that myself now 🙂

          12.03.30 at 14.18

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s