Please Jesus will you just fuck off

Her: Hello Sir.
Me: Hello.
Her: Thank you for answering the door. We are here to tell you some fantastic news.
Me: Is this about religion?
Her: No Sir, this is about Jesus.
Me: That’s not religion then?
Her: No Sir, we have great news for you.
Me: Have I won the lottery?
Her: Better than that Sir.
Me: Have I won two lotteries?
Her: Have you read the bible?
Me: Yes.
Her: So you are a believer then?
Me: Of course not, I’ve read the bible.
Her: Jesus died for you sins Sir.
Me: Did he? I better commit a few more of them then, make it worth his while.
Her: This is not a joking matter Sir, He really did.
Me: I wasn’t joking. Now, if you don’t mind, I was  busy masturbating just then-
Her: Thank you for time Sir. Have a nice day.

17 responses

  1. Hehe nice.

    12.04.09 at 15.21

  2. Brilliant!

    12.04.09 at 05.34

  3. Theo Black

    Yeah, this died-for-your-sins business? I hate it when someone does you a favor and keeps reminding you that you owe him. I don’t think Jesus was that kind of passive-aggressive whiner.

    12.04.07 at 00.41

    • love it theo – yes! jesus was the classic example of passive aggressive behaviour – never thought of it like that – excellent point and massive thanks and big grins

      12.04.07 at 00.59

  4. Bahahaha.. yep, huge grin over here!

    12.04.06 at 16.24

  5. Yes!! Happy Fucking Easter 🙂

    12.04.06 at 12.55

    • thanks
      is it easter?

      12.04.06 at 12.56

      • The liquor store is closed, use to be a sign of either easter or xmas. Maybe it’s xmas… Then happy fucking xmas.

        12.04.06 at 13.16

        • happy fucking xmas to you too

          12.04.06 at 13.36

  6. We Haven’t Had Any Issues In Our Home With The “Rollers” As We Call Them, Since My Father Answered The Door In His Brief-Undies And Said, “We’re NOT Interested. We’re All Buddhist-Monks. Thanks. Piss-Off.”
    Odd How That Little Scene Actually Worked Out In OUR Favor.
    Go Dad!!!

    12.04.06 at 12.36

    • haha – nice one

      12.04.06 at 12.48

  7. You were just trying to pick up that chick! I love when those types come to my door heh

    12.04.06 at 12.21

    • i’ve never scored with a born-again – i dunno why, those chicks don’t seem to dig me

      12.04.06 at 12.23

  8. I so hope this is real!

    12.04.06 at 12.19

    • more or less – i’ve only removed bits

      12.04.06 at 12.22

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