Top 10 reasons to have an internet girlfriend

Following on from yesterdays ‘Top 10 reasons to have an internet boyfriend‘, lets try the shoe on the other foot and see what’s in it for him if he dumps his girlfriend and signs up for some cyber-love instead.

Here are 10 reasons why you should trade your real girlfriend for a virtual one.

  1. She can be from anywhere in the world.
  2. You can switch her off when he gets on your nerves.
  3. You get to spend a lot of time masturbating.
  4. You’ll never catch an STD
  5. You don’t have to wash your feet.
  6. You finally have a legitimate reason for sending someone pictures of your dick.
  7. You don’t have to go clothes shopping with her.
  8. You never have to buy her flowers.
  9. You can have several at once.
  10. You don’t have to watch football with her.
And there you have it,  10 reasons why we should all be getting cyber-fucked.

26 responses

  1. I noticed your post is the Featured Blog under the Blogs About: Masturbation site..Awesome!! I am so proud to say I knew you when you were just one of us, before your Masturbation Obsession launched you into untold levels of wealth and fame.

    There’s going to be a whole new level of gravatars for you to wank off to, my friend!

    🙂 Bird

    12.04.10 at 00.31

    • so what were you doing bird, typing ‘masturbation’ into the search field of WP’s Topics page, eh? lol – so am i famous now?

      hey thanks for bringing that to my attention *head swells*

      your gravatar will always be my favourite 😉

      12.04.10 at 11.30

      • Well, Kyle, some things will just have to remain a secret! I will say though, that my kid Rebekkah and I both started laughing when we saw you were King of Blogs about Masturbation, and you inspired my kid’s Masturbation article this morning. Talk about a dilemma for me…lol!

        We have come to a compromise and you’ll find your homage here:

        I really tried to get her to post it on Chef’s site, but while she’s comfortable enough to let the WHOLE WORLD read about her thoughts on this little past-time, she doesn’t want her dad to see it…

        Hope you enjoy it!


        PS: quit getting my gravatar sticky!

        12.04.10 at 12.51

        • wow – thank you – i can’t begin to tell you how flattered i am

          12.04.10 at 13.40

          • lol…what can we say? We aren’t given to filthy ponderings….but evidently some of us are willing to try..

            Have a good day!

            12.04.10 at 14.19

            • I thought your girl’s post was thoughtful and revealing and honest and insightful. I’d rather have any one of those things than filthy, if i’m honest

              12.04.10 at 14.38

              • Yeah, I was pleasantly surprised. She warned me not to read on, but we all know, I was going to flinch my way through it. I wasn’t comfortable, but only because she’s still a little girl to me…
                I’m am proud of her, though. She says what she means, and means what she says..
                Thanks for the compliment on my daughter — she’s going to love this!

                12.04.10 at 14.41

  2. Exciting, but the real thing is more fun! 😉

    12.04.09 at 20.28

    • it is, but we find love through feelings and feelings are expressed through words.

      12.04.09 at 21.20

      • Very true! Words are extremely important, communicating! 🙂

        12.04.10 at 05.36

  3. Okay, question… Why do men so enjoy sending pics of their dicks? Just curious really, but it seems that an average of one in maybe fifteen at some point feel the urge to up and send an unsolicited dick pic. I used to have a collection… sometimes I photo shopped little beards and moustaches on them for fun.

    12.04.09 at 15.40

    • ok, maybe this deserves a longer answer than this – but i think its because we are so ridiculously proud of them, like a kid with his favourite toy. we are all so constantly impressed by our own dicks, that we mistakenly imagine you will be too.

      12.04.09 at 15.45

      • lol I think it’s kind of sweet… I mean, it’s good to love one’s own body, yes? First time someone ever sent me a dic pic through email, it was this insane close-up shot. I’m looking at it going, ‘what the fuck am I looking at?’ and then BOING it hit me. I laughed so hard I damn near pissed my pants. Ah, good times.

        12.04.09 at 15.49

  4. snarkysnatch

    When you start taking further applications to your internet harem let me know. 😉

    12.04.09 at 15.35

  5. Gillian Colbert

    Love #6

    12.04.09 at 15.16

    • i knew you would

      12.04.09 at 15.17

  6. I like number 5 lol

    12.04.09 at 14.30

    • i can’t choose between 1, 3 and 6 lol

      12.04.09 at 14.32

  7. “You don’t have to watch football with her.” What a relief 🙂

    12.04.09 at 13.18

    • hahaha – number 6 is the only reason i need

      12.04.09 at 13.22

  8. Anonymous

    Having a legitimate reason….haha!

    12.04.09 at 12.45

  9. Sounds ideal to me. Oh, and I have a few! 🙂 My feet are still clean though (hate rank!)

    12.04.09 at 12.23

    • hahaha – ah is that why she keeps calling out pete when she comes?

      12.04.09 at 12.25

      • Hey man whether in person or virtually, I’m just GOOD. 🙂

        12.04.09 at 14.27

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