so, this is about 15 years ago, right? and i’m reading frankenstein by this mary something – and i’m nearly at the end and i’m on the tube at the tail of long day’s drinking and working, when i strike up this conversation with this gorgeous brummy girl and we get to talking about books and then movies and then football and then she says to me “if you give me a snog, i’ll show you my tits” so i’m all like ‘yeah, sounds like a win-win to me.’
so i give her a big, dirty kiss, and right enough she lifts up her teralyne aston villa shirt and gives me an eyeful of two of the most perfect titties i’ve ever seen. The next thing i know though, is this bloke, halfway down the carriage, gets up and smacks me in the mouth. I’m all like ‘what the fuck’ and he’s all like some shit about snogging his sister.
turns out she does that shit all the time, just to watch the fireworks.
anyway we both go to it and the old bill are called and the train is held up and everything, and i forget my book and never get to find out what happened to frankenstein’ and his monster.