Okay, I’m back

So now I am back. I have had the most wonderful time being abducted by aliens. We flew in and out of the rings of Saturn and sunbathed under a sulphur volcano on Io. We went skinny dipping in the methane oceans of Titan and showered under five mile high, diamond waterfalls of hot gas on Jupiter. I saw a 12 coloured rainbow from the top of a mountain on Mars and drank wine fermented in the glow of a supernova.

Best of all was all the orifice probing that goes, quite naturally, along with an alien abduction. Apparently this is not done for any scientific reason but simply because it amuses the rest of the universe. There are several billion sites on the uniweb dedicated to such sport, my favourite being uuu.fuckthatsfunny.con. They already know all there is to know about us, what with us being one of the most primitive species ever to have evolved.

I have met some amazing people. I smoked a spliff with Marie Antoinette and sucked Jo Stalin’s dick (its tiny).  Did you know that Adolf Hitler was gay, and actually he said “A glass of juice,” not “Gas the Jews”? I met Joan of Arc, and let me tell you, she is nowhere near as gay as people like to think. We all smoked some fantastic Arcturan weed and the aliens paid us each $150 dollars for our time. Sadly these were Betelgeusian dollars and made of chocolate.

Anyway I am back and refreshed and ready to write some smut.

12 responses

  1. hehe I love you warped little mind my friend. xx

    12.04.18 at 14.09

  2. TheOthers1

    Oh, I meant to say welcome back.

    12.04.18 at 04.37

  3. Awesome Kyle! Oh how I wish someone alien would abduct me soon. Sound like the trip of a lifetime. Will they be back for you? Are you allowed to bring friends along? You came back in time you know. Mrs. Bucket kicked the bucket and Miss Sally kept all the good stuff for her self. So happy you’re back.

    12.04.17 at 20.53

    • its good to be back anette, although the trip was wonderful and the aliens were dead sexy (although not tentacley enough or slimy enough for my liking).
      bucket died with a smile on her face and sally left some intriguing stuff in drafts, including a tantalising piece about a skype threesome; i’m just glad she didn’t realise that i was the number three.
      thank you for missing me, i wish i could have taken you along for the trip, you would have loved charlie chaplin, he is hung like a curtain.

      12.04.17 at 21.03

      • Somehow Charlie’s curtainy condition does not surprise me. Did he look fresh?

        12.04.17 at 21.21

        • he did and he asked after you

          12.04.17 at 21.22

          • Really? When we go Kyle I’m gonna dress like a movie star. I will start my preparations okay.

            12.04.17 at 21.29

  4. Ahhh, yes, Mew is back! You were missed…. 🙂

    12.04.17 at 17.38

    • why tank you – i missed you too

      12.04.17 at 17.44

  5. junelikethemonth

    Well thank god, I missed your smut…
    And since you have had some recent contact with alien lifeforms, do you think that freak from last nite’s blog was possibly an undercover extraterrestrial? Just wondering…he did attempt to probe my orifices in such awful ways lol

    12.04.17 at 17.38

    • well lucky you – if he had a massive, green, glow in the dark, dick, he may well have been an alien.

      12.04.17 at 17.43

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