“Awright! Awright!” I shout, “Its a doorbell, not a fuckin’ juke box!” Some cunt’s in trouble, disturbin’ me when I’m on the Wii, know what I mean? But its Mickey an’ ‘e’s seevvin’ abaht sumffin’.
“Some fuckin’ paedo’ ‘as only just moved in down the the fuckin’ street!” ‘e tells me.
“Who?” I ask, already lookin’ for me Stanley knife.
“That posh cunt at 23.” ‘e says, an’ I’m not surprised, a right snotty cunt ‘e is. Any’ow this can’t be allowed to stand, can’t ‘ave the kiddies round ‘ere put at any risk from some nonce, it ain’t right, so we tool up and pay the cunt a little visit, know what I mean?

Any’ow Mickey’s kickin’ this cunt’s ‘ead around is livin’ room like its a fuckin’ football and ‘e’s David fuckin’ Beckham, an’ ‘is wife’s all like screaming “No! No! He’s a paediatrician! He’s a paediatrician!”
“Well, we fuckin’ know that, you daft bitch.” I tell ‘er, “Why do you fink we’re ‘ere.?”

More in this series

4 responses

  1. A guy returns home to find his girl friend packing her stuff.
    “where are you going?” he asks her
    “I’m leaving you!” she tells him.
    “why?” he wants to know.
    “I know what you are and it’s disgusting!”
    “what am I? What have you heard?”
    “I heard you’re a paedophile so I’m leaving you!”
    “wait a minute” he say ” where you learn that word? It’s a very big word for an eight year old”

    12.04.26 at 12.12

    • that’s outrageous. lol

      12.04.26 at 12.36

  2. I want to laugh but feel guilty doing so knowing these things actually happen. I shall allow myself a little chortle then slap my own wrists for it

    12.04.26 at 11.24

    • thanks, its based on something that actually happened – there’s a whole series of them on here about ‘im an’ mickey, i forgot to put a link, i’ll do it now

      12.04.26 at 11.32

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