Lizbet

So, my friend Lizbet comes over from Denmark, and she’s never been to London, so she’s all like wanting to do all the touristy shit, yeah? Now, I’m a Londoner, and I hate all that tourist bullshite but you gotta go along with it, haven’t you? Well, you do if you wanna get your dick wet.

So, Lizbet wants to see where Charles and Diana got married, okay? And, I’m like not very up with the whole royal family malarkey, but I do remember one thing about them from school, and I’m quite proud of myself for doing so; I remember that royal weddings take place at Westminster Abbey.

So I take her and we look around, and she’s like “It looked much bigger on the TV” and I’m like
“Oh, its probably the way they did the lighting or something.”

So, later we go on the London Eye and we’re like gonna have sex in one of the pods but British Airways have a member of staff, a sweet young American girl, get into the pod with us, to stop us getting jiggy. She stands there the whole time, with her arms folded, like scowling at us, and if I’m honest, she was much cuter than Lizbet.

It was only much later that I realise that, up until Charles and Diana, all royals did marry in Westminster Abbey, but Charles and Diana didn’t, they married at Saint Pauls.

So, I get my dick wet anyway, later, although I’m thinking about that sweet American girl in the pod as we do it, and I never tell Lizbet that I took her around the wrong cathedral or who it was I was thinking about as I fucked her.