Fuck this!

oh god!
fuck this!
how easily
i give out my heart,
so readily
i get myself hurt.
no more!
fuck all this!!
never again!!!
til the next time,
i suppose,
when it’ll
happen again.
oh god!
fuck this!!

49 responses

  1. One day your will find someone who appreciates your generousity in giving your heart wilthout restraint and will return it in like. your pain gives you empathy. And remember that someone who cannot accept love when given so freely is quite probably the one with real problems, people who cannot accept love struggle to give love and you deserve nothing less than to be loved by someone with the same capacity for it as yourself for the others its their loss

    12.05.26 at 19.21

    • thank you paula – i appreciate it – i can’t hear anything bad said about her though – she was/is a wonderful woman

      12.05.26 at 19.38

      • I didnt mean it to sound like that my other half has a mate he is a lovely guy he is on paper everything a girl could want except for one small thing there were things in his past that hurt him as a result he can never fully let himself commit he loves but can never give his all nor can he accept that someone else can feel that way for him. And if he ever gets close to doing it he runs for the hills, he regrets it for a while then meets someone new and the cycle repeats again. I have met a couple of these girls my other half has met them all at first we thought it was they just werent the right person but over years of watching the cycle we see it when he doesn’t he is still great friends with most of them and every single one thinks he is a wonderful guy but until he can get past it he will never have the relationship he really wants

        12.05.26 at 20.05

        • that’s sad – i hope he does find what he wants

          12.05.26 at 20.12

  2. gypsy116

    Wish I had something better to say, but hugs again

    12.05.26 at 19.20

    • hugs is what i needed – its the best thing you could have said – thanks

      12.05.26 at 19.21

      • gypsy116

        If I didnt live on the other side of the ocean, I would come over and you a real one

        12.05.26 at 19.35

  3. dude nothing is more inspiring than a broken heart. use your boohoos to bring you closer to your own truths. through this you will find you.

    12.05.26 at 15.04

    • wise words indeed – thank you – its not the first time – i seem to find myself a lot in this life πŸ™‚

      12.05.26 at 15.11

  4. I was catching up my blog reading so saw “Wank Biscuit” first — I clicked the poem it referred to and see now what you’re talking about. First of all those were very kind words from Kat — it’s nice to have someone say that kind of thing to you. I would certainly cherish that! Second, your poem, I see it as a testament to hope, faith and being alive. It’s precious that you expect this to occur perhaps again, this forging ahead into love — I hope you lick your wounds and offer yourself up to someone really deserving!

    12.05.26 at 15.04

    • kat is a star isn’t she? and so are you for saying such sweet things – we are what we are i guess

      12.05.26 at 15.08

  5. 😦 sniff.

    12.05.26 at 14.50

  6. Sounds familiar… πŸ™‚

    12.05.26 at 13.22

    • yeah – we all been there yeah? part of life’s rich tapestry and all that πŸ™‚

      12.05.26 at 13.27

  7. Rob

    There is a light at the end of the tunnel, in spite of rumours to the contrary. Hang on in there.

    12.05.26 at 11.55

    • you are right rob, i see it. hang on though…. that’s an oncoming train!!

      12.05.26 at 11.56

      • Rob

        Way too negative! Flag it down and take a ride somewhere.

        12.05.26 at 11.58

        • just my soh mate – i’m a natural born optimist and already looking for the next heartbreaker πŸ™‚

          12.05.26 at 11.59

          • Rob

            Back in the saddle: that’s the way.

            12.05.26 at 12.06

  8. Je t’aime Kyle. Looks like everything else has already been said.

    Chin up and the rest as well.

    Bigger than your average bisous,
    Dawn

    12.05.26 at 06.36

    • thanks my dawn – thank you for being there – je t’aime aussi

      12.05.26 at 10.54

  9. pain means you’re living for something greater – I know that sounds like I’m diminishing your feelings but I heard something today and it reflcted on some of life’s pain being a guage to one’s unwillingness to settle for less – average. Those that are unreasonable in their standards are the ones who change the world. Keep on wanting Kyle. love and hugs , naked nasty hugs to you : )

    12.05.26 at 06.30

    • aw thanks jayne – i guess its true, i want so much and will carry on until i find it and then the all the times i got hurt will be worthwhile – love you too – naked, nasty hugs right back at ya darling

      12.05.26 at 10.53

  10. Gillian Colbert

    Kyle – I feel you love .. well, not literally though I would if I thought it would help πŸ˜‰ (any smiles yet?)

    On the real, a big hug, the pain sucks but its a reminder that you’re alive.

    Much, much love and many hugs,

    GC

    12.05.26 at 05.07

    • yeah gillian, that raised a smile, thank you honey

      12.05.26 at 10.49

      • Gillian Colbert

        My pleasure hon, wish I could hug you for real.

        12.05.26 at 15.37

  11. Kyle you are incredible…and I wish I could make this fuckin pain go away. You my dear have no idea how important you’ve become to so many of us. You’ve rocked my world…and been so wonderful! Thank you from the bottom my heart. ❀

    12.05.26 at 02.30

  12. snarkysnatch

    Get it out baby. Get out your pain in your glorious prose but don’t ever give up on sharing your heart. I would give my left tit to be able to have a man that loves as passionately as you do. Fuck anyone that doesn’t see your hearts grace. Yeah. I said it. FUCK ANYONE. You have supported me from the very beginning when there wasn’t even a reason to. You believed in my silly ass and snatch. Your motivational words propelled me forward during many a dark time. I remember one amazing email you sent me inspiring me to continue blogging when I didn’t think I had a voice to. I did continue. This is power you have to a fellow blogger, what the hell kind of empowerment do you give to someone you love? You are a vaginal elixir. You are talented. You are witty and funny. You are loyal. You are thousand gazillion things worth writing about but you greatest gift is that you love with an open heart. How many of us can say we do the same? I am very honored to call you a friend Kyle luv.

    I have said before don’t fall in love…fall off a bridge. It will hurt less. I get it. I know. I’ve been there done that. Got the t-shirt and watched the movie on Lifetime but it still doesn’t take away the sting of hurting to say I feel you sweets. At the end of the day Kyle, people are flawed and sometimes selfish. It is an ugly part of humanity. Does it make them evil to hurt us? No. But they sure as shit could show some compassion when they exit. I am sorry you are hurting luv. I truly am. I adore you tons you silly wank biscuit. Hugs and mayhem.

    12.05.26 at 01.30

    • you just made me realise that its all worthwhile kat – you and the other people who commented on this post – i wrote it in a tick, on the bus on the way home from a pointless meat-market of a club – i am overwhelmed by the love i have felt here tonight and will go to bed with tears of joy mingling with my tears of sadness – i love you kat – i love you all β™₯β™₯β™₯β™₯β™₯

      12.05.26 at 01.38

  13. TheOthers1

    Aw, it’s hard not to give so much of yourself away. Sorry. 😦

    12.05.26 at 01.18

    • aww – don’t be sorry, its who i am, and will always be, one day i will find her, i know this – thank you cupcake x

      12.05.26 at 01.20

  14. to continue the thought brought out so eloquently by your friend randalldeanscott…i say to you, dear friend…keep running into those walls, because one of these days it will turn out to be a pillow…where you both will lay your heads, in love. It is bound to happen. I have faith in you!

    12.05.26 at 01.15

    • and words like yours keep my faith strong rhonda – yeah, one day, eh?

      12.05.26 at 01.17

  15. OK, I don’t like this, so I’m not going to pretend I do.
    I’ll give you a virtual hug instead. Don’t you get any
    kooky ideas, Mister! *hands on hips*
    Veggiewitch β™₯

    12.05.26 at 01.09

    • thank you – and i will picture you, all hands on hips, if i get any kooky ideas, although kooky ideas are not really my thing, so please rest assured x

      12.05.26 at 01.13

  16. KYLE …..
    I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL …….. SERIOUSLY ….
    SOMETIMES – ??????????
    BEST OF LUCK WITH EVERYTHING – AND DON’T STOP BEING PASSIONATE FOR ANYONE …..
    XX
    C

    12.05.26 at 01.08

    • C – i couldn’t stop being me if i tried – thank you for thinking of me and feeling for me x

      12.05.26 at 01.09

      • I SO KNOW THAT FEELING ——-
        CHIN UP BUTTERCUP XO

        12.05.26 at 01.12

        • chin up buttercup – i love that – awww i’m gonna go to sleep happier now, ’cause of that

          12.05.26 at 01.14

          • πŸ™‚ GOOD – πŸ™‚
            TELL ANETTE I SAY LOVE XO
            AND SHE HAS MY EMAIL –
            AND REMEMBER TO KEEP HAPPY – πŸ™‚
            SEE YOU AT THE END O SUMMER ….
            I FRIGGIN NEED A BREAK ……
            !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
            – AND CONGRATS FOR ALWAYS BEING YOU
            WHEN THE WHOLE WORLD WANTS TO CHANGE EVERYONE INTO SOMETHING THEY ARE NOT-= OR WANT THEM TO BE …….
            I FEEL LIKE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER –
            YUKKKKKKKKKKKK- NEVER EVER – BUT IT’S SO FRIGGIN TRUE ….
            X
            CHIN UP
            BUTTERCUP XO

            12.05.26 at 01.20

            • β™₯

              12.05.26 at 01.21

              • C πŸ™‚ IT’S EASY TO SMILE WHEN YOU HAVE FRIENDS WHOM UNDERSTAND YOU πŸ™‚
                SO THERE
                πŸ™‚ XX

                12.05.26 at 01.24

  17. It’s interesting and
    absurd isn’t it?
    How we willingly
    run as fast as we
    can into a brick wall.
    The wall is so pretty
    like no wall we’ve
    ever seen but we
    must make contact
    yet the problem is that
    we are too passionate
    with everything we
    do like da Vinci does
    art and don’t give
    one fuck about how
    hard the wall is if
    when it is beautiful and
    especially if we
    love it.

    – I was inspired to write my comment in the form of a poem. I hope you don’t mind. Keep your chin up if this poem reflects recent occurrences, and keep writing.

    12.05.26 at 01.06

    • hey dude – thank you – your comment may well become a post – i will always write, i don’t know what else to do

      12.05.26 at 01.08

      • so proud of you (and Kat rocks)

        12.06.04 at 02.48

        • thank you rhonda

          12.06.04 at 09.22

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