A hellova mess

So, I’m chatting, on Facebook, to this girl right, from like Germany or Russia or one of those countries, and she’s really cool you know, like funny and clever and proper dirty too. Anyway, I have quick look through her photos and find a hot one, with a lot of cleavage, and put it on my phone. Now, she’s forty-something, but she looks bloody good for her age.

In the morning, I wake up with a stiffie you could like choke a horse with, so I bring up her pic and have a good old five knuckle shuffle, a nice long one too, you know, stopping and starting, so as to make it last. I make a hellova mess, but fuck it, that’s what showers and cleaners are for, right?

Later, I tell her about it, and she’s like acting all embarrassed, but you can tell she’s as chuffed as fuck really. “Which picture?” she asks and I tell her.

Turns out I was whacking off to a picture of her daughter.

more from this guy

33 responses

  1. There will have to be rules about my Facebook photo albums if we ever become Facebook friends…lol!

    12.06.16 at 09.30

    • i promise i would behave myself bird πŸ˜‰

      12.06.16 at 09.35

      • lol…I would have to mark each photo Whack Off Okay or Whack Off Not Okay …And I have a ton of pictures…Who has the time anymore??

        12.06.16 at 09.40

        • you’re too funny β™₯

          12.06.16 at 09.51

  2. OMFG! Loved it, loved it, loved it!! Got me laughing in the library Kyle. The old guy next to me reading the paper just gave me a dirty look, and not the good kind!

    12.06.08 at 12.46

    • that’s good to hear and thanks

      12.06.08 at 14.02

  3. eroticexploration

    Hehe, thanks for a good chuckle Kyle – it’s good to be back!

    12.06.07 at 16.53

  4. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€
    May be that’s why I was given a son, not a daughter. πŸ˜€

    12.06.07 at 16.48

  5. gypsy116

    lmfao πŸ˜€ I swear by now I should see it coming, but Im always surprised.

    12.06.07 at 15.38

    • this is what i aim for petal, to surprise πŸ˜€

      12.06.07 at 15.42

      • gypsy116

        Very good job πŸ™‚

        12.06.07 at 15.47

  6. Did you ask her for her daughter’s address?

    12.06.07 at 12.42

    • i did but it didn’t seem to improve the situation

      12.06.07 at 12.43

  7. TemptingSweets99


    12.06.07 at 10.39

  8. No!? This is hilarious!

    12.06.07 at 08.11

    • try telling her that lol

      12.06.07 at 08.16

  9. Hahaha….sheesh….perves make mistakes too!

    12.06.07 at 07.41

  10. That’s a helluva way to end a potential friendship…but it gives you a richer fantasy life, so I guess that’s the trade off.. πŸ™‚

    12.06.07 at 07.37

    • and more to write about (don’t tell anyone mimi, but some of my work is fictional)

      12.06.07 at 08.15

      • Really? I never would have suspected…

        12.06.07 at 08.23

  11. TheOthers1

    Hm… A little awkward. lol

    12.06.07 at 07.26

    • hahaha – just a little

      12.06.07 at 08.14

  12. So She’s Got A Hot Daughter, Eh?! Could You Put In A Good Word For Me?! πŸ˜‰ hahahaha Lovely Way To Awaken, Kyle. Much Appreciated. hehehe

    12.06.07 at 07.15

    • anytime brad – i’d put in a good word but she isn’t talking to me after that

      12.06.07 at 08.13

      • HAHAHA Figures. Women. I Don’t Understand Them. That’s Why I Generally Date Someone With A Penis. They’re Not Much Easier To Deal With…
        …But At Least I Understand Them More-So, Fo SHO! πŸ˜‰

        12.06.07 at 08.15

  13. Oops!

    12.06.07 at 07.05

    • indeed – she still won’t talk to me

      12.06.07 at 07.07

  14. Haha, brilliant!

    12.06.07 at 06.52

    • thank you
      she didn’t think so

      12.06.07 at 07.07

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