Archive for July, 2012

Some award or other

thank you audrina of audrina1759’s blog and Maarit-Johanna of history of the ancient world for nominating me for some award or other. normally i don’t do the award thing but i’m so flattered to be nominated by these women, as their blogs are just wonderful, that i will make an exception.

the rules are as follows:

  • tell seven things about yourself
  • nominate 487 other bloggers
  • that’s it, i think

seven things about me:

  1. i haven’t had sex since february
  2. i haven’t had coffee since 9:30
  3. i fantasise about posting pictures of my dick on this blog but have never had the guts
  4. i know how to measure the speed of light with a microwave and some proccessed cheese
  5. i am going to masturbate to the gravatar pictures of anyone who likes or comments on this post – you have been warned
  6. minds turn me on more than bodies
  7. i sneezed so hard this morning that my glasses flew off and landed in the toilet bowl
  8. an ex once super-glued my hand to my cock in my sleep
  9. i have only recently learned that women get sexier and more beautiful as they get older
  10. i can’t count to seven
  11. three of these things are not true (but this might be one of them)

nominations:
i’m afraid i can’t nominate anyone as i never actually read any of the shite you guys write.

from now on i will only be accepting nominations for awards if they come accompanied by pictures of the nominee’s bare breasts or cum drenched pricks – ideally both.

thank you again to audrina1759 and Maarit-Johanna for nominating me, and if you do not already follow these girls, do so now, or i will have you killed.


Chopping board

you are hard at work, in the kitchen, doing something on the chopping board. i don’t care what it is, i’m feeling horny and come up behind you and hold you, my hands cupping your breasts, my stiffie pressing into your back. “not now!” you tell me sharply, “i’m busy!” i don’t give a fuck, and i push my right hand down between your legs.
“c’mon love,” i implore, “just a quickie?” you spin round and glare at me. i ignore you and pull at your skirt, wanting to feel between your legs. you brush my hand away roughly and tell me to
“fucking grow up!” i slip my hand up inside your tee, grabbing a breast and ask, in my sweetest voice, for “a quick hand-job?” this seems to excite you and you smile and i feel your nipples stiffen and i grin back at you. if i had paid more attention, i would have seen that what you were chopping was half a dozen or so hot red chilli peppers, the burning juices of which now coat your fingers.

“you want me to wank you off?” you ask cheekily, and i nod like a demented puppy and grin. “what, right this minute?” you check. a question that is met by more enthusiastic nodding. you look down and i obediently drop my pants. i love the way you smile as you grab hold of my twitching prick and start to stroke generously up and down its whole length. you trace delicate little circles around and all over the head with the tips of the fingers of your other hand, which feels fantastic, and even more tingly than usual. you fondle my balls and even push the tip of your pinkie into my butt, you know how i like that. the mischievous look in your eyes makes it so much better.

then the heat hits me and i gasp in pain and you giggle. you answer the desperate questioning in my eyes by glancing over your shoulder at the pile of red chilli peppers on the chopping board. my eyes follow yours, widening in realisation as they do. i try to pull away but you keep hold of me for a second or two and kiss me. then you let go and i hop from one foot to the other, letting out little agonised whimpers, unsure what to do, pain scorching me from the tip of my dick to my ass. you laugh so hard that you can barely cross the kitchen to the freezer and find me a bag of frozen peas.

you are still laughing as you wash your hands and go back to preparing the meal.


Find me another

You stand, backlit by a street lamp, in the doorway of a bar, taking in the heavy scent of liquor and testosterone, your eyes darting greedily across the scene before you. You need a man. Two dozen or so, line an L-shaped counter, forming a cacophony of rattling laughter and glass. Almost immediately you spot three likely candidates, and having visited two bars already without luck, you are growing impatient. Almost randomly you pick the tall, tattooed guy, with carefully messed-up black hair and a Guinness. Using his savage but delicate body art as a way to open the conversation, it takes you just over three minutes for you to get to the point; does he want to fuck you? The twitch in his pants makes his eagerness evident, and you are impressed with the cool composure of his response. “Sure, why not?” he barely smiles as he pays his tab and slings a battered leather jacket over his shoulder.
“My husband will be watching,” you tell him as you both make your way to the door, “that okay?”
“Fine by me,” he shrugs, “as long as I don’t have to touch his cock.”
“Don’t worry fella,” you reassure him with a smile, “the only thing you’ll be touching, is me.”

I feel my erection begin to grow, the moment I hear you both enter the house, and by the time you walk into the bedroom I am at full mast. He looks bemused but not phased as he stares at me, tied firmly to the wooden chair, with two dozen leather straps, unable to even wriggle, black ball gag in my mouth. He glances down briefly at my twitching member and then turns to you and you kiss. Almost frantically, you undress each other, tasting each other’s bare flesh hungrily as it becomes exposed, and once naked, he throws you roughly onto the bed and buries his head between your legs. You have been wet all night and your thighs glisten as he begins to lap thirstily at you, his fingers digging into your butt, your hips pushing fiercely into his face.

You turn your head to look straight at me, letting me see the pleasure on your face, telling me how good it feels and how good he is. My cock throbs with desire, in time to the animal thrusting of your hips, drawing desperate moans from deep within me, echoing those that you and he are making. I can tell how close to orgasm you are by how hard your fingers claw at the soft cotton beneath you. Just as you are about to explode, you push him back and, panting wildly, tell him to fuck you.

He has a strong, proud shaft, thick and pulsating, veins standing out like vines climbing a great tree trunk, and I wonder how it is that you always manage to find guys with such big dicks. You gasp so loud, as he enters you, that it is almost a scream, and you tell me just how big he is and how powerful and how wonderful it feels getting fucked so hard by him. Jealousy mingles with excitement in my blood, making my mind swim and my soul fizz. In between cries of pleasure and heavy breaths, you whisper something to him. I know what it is you are saying and my aching cock bounces in anticipation.

Your orgasm crashes into you like great ocean waves battering a deserted shore, washing over you, drowning your senses, bursting into you and through you in a series of long hard shudders and spasms. Just as you asked, he pulls out as he comes and long, thick streaks of cum shoot hotly and repeatedly over your glorious, quivering breasts.

Still trembling with the aftermath of your orgasm, you climb off the bed, stagger over to me and remove the gag. We kiss and you tell me that you love me. He is impressive and already stiff again. Glancing over your shoulder, you see this and bend over in readiness, steadying yourself with your hands on my shoulders. He stands behind you and holds your hips, the tip of his rock hard prick stroking up and down between your butt cheeks, making you giggle. His cock is still drenched with both your juices and your barely wince as he drives his full length up your ass. As he builds up speed and force, you press your dripping breasts into my face, and I lick and swallow and rub my face into your tits, tasting him, covering my face with him. He reaches round and starts to rub ferociously at your clit, pounding you harder and harder, my chair rocking dangerously back and forth, and as you both come, you push back into him lifting your head, so that you can see my cum splattered face. As he bursts into you with a series of loud grunts, I ask you to touch me but you just pant and smile and wink at me.

After he pulls out you kneel and kiss me, your mouth open, his taste on your lips, his smell filling your nostrils, and by the time you stop, the stranger already has his clothes on and is headed for the door. You see him out and I hear you take a shower, and when you come back in, you are dressed and have your coat. “Where are you going?” I ask.
“Thought I’d go find me another.” you smile, giving my cock a little slap and almost making me come.


12 hours ago

12 hours ago

10 hours ago

.


More

i love you more
than coffee
and ice cream
i love you more
than my shoes

i love you more
than my phone
and my car
i love you more
than the blues

i love you more
than my dog
and red wine
i love you more
than xmas

i love you more
than whiskey
and beer
i love you more
than my x-box

i love you more
than lilacs
and sunsets
i love you more
than the fall

i love you more
than football
and boxing
i love you more
than it all

find more nifty noetry here


Serious action

you stand before us and watch us both strip, enjoying how we are both fully erect by the time we are naked. then you have us strip you, slowly, tantalisingly, kissing and stroking each inch of flesh as it is exposed. stepping out of your panties, you watch our eyes drink in your beauty and lie back on our big bed.

before we get down to some serious action, you tell us, you want us to put on a little show for you. we are both straight but are happy to do anything to turn you on and we kiss, hungrily, our cocks brushing up against each other, pressing into each other. he is much bigger than i am, and i am quite jealous, especially at the greedy way you stare at it. we grab each others shafts and stroke them slowly but fully. my fingers can barley reach round his magnificent prick and i can feel the blood pumping through it in powerful pulsations, his veins like steel wires. you start to touch yourself when i drop to my knees and take his broad, hard cock deep into my mouth. he grabs my head and forces himself into me hard, and i can hear your moans of pleasure as he fucks my face. he pulls out as he starts to come and i can hear you coming too, as he squirts what feels like gallons of hot creamy cum all over my face and into my open, awaiting mouth.

you reach under the bed and pull out the nine tailed flogger. you’d told me last night that you were going to hand it to me but with a wink you pass it to him and he starts to lash at me with it. you squeal with delight and giggle as he covers my body with a rain of stinging blows. he does not care for me like you do and hits me with force, and i jump and squirm with each blow and cover my cock with my hands. i expect you to tell him to ease up a bit, but you don’t, you tell him to hit me harder and for me to put my hands above my head and to stand still. i do, and he brings the flogger down on my twitching prick making it bounce and sway violently.

he is almost instantly stiff again and you tell me to get on all fours. you lie on the bed, bringing your grinning face close to mine, studying my eyes as he enters me. you reach down between your legs as he fulfils himself, fiercely and relentlessly, shaking my whole body and drawing a gasp from my lungs with each powerful thrust. you kiss me as he comes in long hard waves, deep inside me. you whisper that you love me.

the two of you tie me, still shaking, spread eagled, to the bed and you kneel over my face, your juices dripping into my mouth as you lower yourself onto me. i lick at your glowing, drenched pussy, intoxicated by your taste, your thighs squeezing my head and your hips rocking in time with your pleasure as i feel my cock being slid wetly into his mouth. you have the flogger now, and i can feel you swiping at him as my aching cock slips in and out of his mouth. with each blow he yelps and bites at my erection and digs his fingers into my balls. i scream, vibrating your glowing, dribbling cunt which is now quivering and throbbing with delight. you lower yourself further onto me preventing me from breathing and you feel my fear growing and my lungs bursting as i feel your orgasm rise, your thighs trembling uncontrollably as they grip my head. you can sense my panic as you come, and as i pass out, i feel my cum hit the back of his throat.

when i come to, you are kneeling over me, your ass close to my face and he is kneeling in front of you. you have his cock in your hand and you are both kissing.  i can make out his fingers between your legs, lapping at your soft wet pussy and driving hard and wildly into you. i can see what you were doing while i was out because his cum is dripping from your butt. i know what you want me to do.


You lot are disgusting: poll results

and i love you for it!

Thank you to everyone who voted in my little poll the other day. The most voted for topic with 18% was BDSM. Second at a close 15% was MMF threesome. Now, seeing as the wonderful Rois suggested I write a BDSM MMF story the other day, I thought I’d combine the two and write something that 33% of you asked for.

I am currently without my laptop and am working on a computer that is bigger and older and louder than me. Nevertheless, my next post will be the one most people asked for.


Laptop in for repair

With my laptop gone
I’ll get no posts done
But I’ve still got my phone
And its a smart one
So I could write a poem
And sit in the sun
But I can’t be fucked


Cheat

i told my girlfriend that i would never cheat on her. not even if sarah silverman

and helen arney

both turned up on my doorstep, having a fight about which one of them got to fuck me first.

she thinks that’s really sweet. well… she does now… she won’t when she reads this and realises that, actually, if that ever did happen, then there is no way that i’d turn down a threesome with arney and silverman, they are two of the sexiest and funniest women on the planet.

sorry hon…


Kinky

so, i’m trying to think of ways of getting her into some kinky stuff and ask her if she can think of anything we could do to spice up our sex life a little. she says that she’d like to have sex in every room in the house. now, i was hoping for whips and chains and stuff or at least handcuffs, but its a good start and if she wants to have sex in every room in the house, that’s fine with me. turns out that what she means is that she wants to have sex with all the other guys i live with.

more from this guy