there is this horrendous scream and everybody turns around to look. there is a man with a gun, a revolver, and he is pointing it at this woman and yelling at her that he is going to kill her. she is on her knees and sobbing so wildly that i cannot make out what she is saying, only that she is using the word ‘please’ a lot. the crowd freeze, one or two people shriek and dive for cover, but mostly, we stand there, motionless, gawping at the scene unfolding before us. the woman crumples to the ground in a heap, and those of us that have not got our eyes glued on the gunman notice the pool of urine seep from under her and spread out over the cold, stone, grey floor.

suddenly, a man steps out from the crowd and stands between her and the pistol. the gunman freaks and screams at this guy, calls him stupid, tells him he’s a motherfucker, tell’s him he’s about to die. the man just nods and stands his ground. the next thing that you know is a woman steps out and joins him, shielding the girl on the floor. then the guy stood next to me joins them. then i do and then three other people do and before you know it, there are thirty or forty of us surrounding her. the gunman does his nut and tries to point his weapon at all of us at once. issuing us all spoken death warrants.

then the police show up, and for a moment i see a look of pure insanity flash across his eyes, before he seems to compose himself, drops the gun to the floor and holds his hands up above his head.

i’m telling you, that’s the last time i go into a burger king.

26 responses

  1. deviantdiaries

    I was so captivated and caught up and that last line just snuck up on me and had me rolling. I love how you do that…keep us all riding on the coaster until the “gotcha” line. You are a master of “gotcha” and oh did I enjoy this one!!!

    12.07.14 at 11.34

  2. Chicken Sandwich, add cheese and extra pickles! Gun on the side.

    12.07.13 at 16.17

  3. That was a whopper My Kyle!


    12.07.13 at 13.33

    • whopper yes not a big mac

      12.07.13 at 14.21

      • In America, you can say, “heavy mayo, extra pickles.” and it will actually happen. In France, don’t even consider asking for a side of…anything. Ever.

        12.07.13 at 14.30

        • haha – i know, i was there

          12.07.13 at 17.05

  4. TemptingSweets99


    12.07.13 at 13.29

  5. Get outta here! This really happened!? If not well told nonetheless!

    12.07.13 at 13.02

    • some of it happened

      12.07.13 at 14.20

  6. J.D. Gallagher

    Great post.

    12.07.13 at 11.36

  7. TheOthers1

    Oh gosh. I was gripped. You slid the burger king in right under my nose.

    12.07.13 at 11.24

    • glad i gotchya – thanks hon

      12.07.13 at 11.29

  8. Ha! Well played, sir!

    12.07.13 at 11.04

  9. omg…you poor thing! next time go to mcdonald’s…better fries.

    12.07.13 at 10.33

    • nicer atmosphere too lol

      12.07.13 at 10.46

      • well…you can’t always ‘have it your way’ like you can at burger king…but i’d rather eat it their way and survive to eat again, you know what I mean?

        12.07.13 at 12.34

  10. Kyle–this is great!

    12.07.13 at 09.57

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