The top 10 saddest things I ever wanked to

  • the women’s fa cup final
  • kerry katona drunk on this morning
  • the russian grannies on eurovision
  • the news
  • the weather
  • photos of my ex on vacation with her new guy
  • the queen’s speech (any year)
  • the jeremy kyle show
  • pride and prejudice (the novel, not the movie)
  • sarah palin

54 responses

  1. hahaha!

    12.09.14 at 01.30

  2. Pingback: Lovely, Beautiful,Versatile, Inspiring, Sunshiny Blog « storyofalice

  3. ROFLMAO!

    12.07.26 at 06.35

    • lucky i didn’t do a ‘top 10 best things’ list or you would be blushing not laughing

      12.07.26 at 07.00

      • LOL!! Let me know when I make the Top Ten!!! 🙂

        12.07.26 at 07.31

        • you would never be in the ‘saddest’ list ever cathy – if i had to write a top 3 most beautiful’ list however…

          12.07.26 at 08.06

          • 🙂 You’re too good to me!

            12.07.26 at 08.11

            • haha – not entirely sure that wank lists constitute ‘good’ but thank you ♥

              12.07.26 at 08.29

  4. junelikethemonth

    sarah palin is not sad, that’s sick lol

    12.07.25 at 10.29

    • you wouldn’t want to see my ‘top 10 sickest’ list lol

      12.07.26 at 08.07

  5. was ok with everything except Kerry Katona, that is just…. wrong… 😀

    12.07.22 at 19.21

    • i couldn’t find the remote

      12.07.22 at 20.39

  6. PAZ

    I once had a dream that I was wanking my wanker to something sad (and no, I don’t have in “real” life penis since I’m a girl, duh). Anyway, I know I was wanking to something sad but I can’t remember what. And I was only briefly surprised at having a wanker in the first place.

    What is it with your posts reminding me of strange things? 😉

    12.07.18 at 00.50

    • i don’t know, but i’m glad they do 😉

      12.07.18 at 06.09

  7. deviantdiaries

    I always laugh when I watch JO vids (yes, I perv them a lot….) and the guy has the tv on in the background or news radio and I’m thinking “God, what a distraction…guys can jack off to anything”. And…here you have it on your top 10 😉

    12.07.17 at 22.44

  8. I read this title and nearly died of laughter. Also, pride and prejudice? Me too. Awesome.

    12.07.17 at 18.49

    • haha – thanks

      12.07.18 at 06.03

  9. TemptingSweets99

    i think as long as you’re able to wank off, it’s all good. 😉

    12.07.15 at 21.50

    • and i agree 😉

      12.07.16 at 05.53

  10. Good God, Sarah Palin, really?! lol

    At what point do you decide it’s just too sad and close your eyes and think of *anything* else? 🙂

    12.07.15 at 21.06

    • haha – most of the time actually

      12.07.16 at 05.53

  11. This is so amazing on every fucking level! Bravo!

    12.07.15 at 20.35

    • thanks very much

      12.07.16 at 05.52

  12. The grannies? Really? 😀

    12.07.15 at 17.06

    • i couldn’t find the remote control

      12.07.15 at 17.08

      • OK, that explains it 😀 .
        I can’t make list like that but I should make top 10 or something of the places I’ve wanked. 😀

        12.07.15 at 17.13

        • that’s a great idea – i jacked of in buckingham palace once (although it was only in a restroom) and was once jacked off in trafalgar square and… if i got my aim right there is still some of my cum on the mona lisa 😉

          12.07.15 at 17.19

          • I never wanked at so famous places. 😀

            12.07.15 at 17.44

            • its never too late my friend

              12.07.15 at 18.22

  13. That’s a pretty sad list. But it just makes sense to spice up those boring things with a good wank.

    12.07.15 at 11.52

    • hey, a good wank can spice up anything, even a packet of plain crisps – although not literally though

      12.07.15 at 12.15

  14. Now that you’ve written about this…. I want to know the top 10 best things you’ve ever wanked to!

    12.07.15 at 11.39

    • that’s a damn good idea – hope you won’t take offence if your current gravatar pic is one of them?

      12.07.15 at 12.14

      • I won’t. 🙂

        I’d be delighted to give you a frontal. KIDDING on the frontal. hahaha

        12.07.15 at 12.24

        • glad to hear it – you got way too much class

          12.07.15 at 12.25

  15. How sad is it that I just wanked to this blog post?

    12.07.15 at 11.21

    • damn – now i’m gonna have to wank to this comment – we could be entering an endless masturbatory cycle here….

      12.07.15 at 11.26

      • There’s a word for that I’m sure, I just cannot recall it at the moment. I think it’s Biblical.

        12.07.15 at 11.32

        • onanism? heaven? hell? redemption? sin? omg?
          gotta be one of those

          12.07.15 at 11.33

          • Auto-erotic reincarnation.

            Yeah, I need help.

            12.07.15 at 11.36

            • here’s hoping you never get it 😆

              12.07.15 at 11.37

  16. The weather? hahah

    12.07.15 at 10.04

    • some of our weather girls and boys are pretty hot – unlike our weather

      12.07.15 at 10.52

  17. I saw the title and couldn’t wait to open this — tehehehehehe!

    12.07.15 at 09.59

    • i knew you’d dig it tehehehe

      12.07.15 at 10.51

  18. You will learn to leave the tv remote where you can find it eventually lol

    12.07.15 at 09.03

    • haha yeah, or cough up for a decent porn channel lol

      12.07.15 at 09.06

  19. And I though I was kinky!

    12.07.15 at 08.58

    • haha – so did i

      12.07.15 at 09.05

  20. Yep. T’Is A Very Sad List.
    However, Sad Wankings Are The Name Of The Game, So It’s All Good, Dude.
    😉
    -B.

    12.07.15 at 08.26

    • thanks my man – you were #11 , you know that? haha
      k

      12.07.15 at 08.36

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