Some award or other

thank you audrina of audrina1759’s blog and Maarit-Johanna of history of the ancient world for nominating me for some award or other. normally i don’t do the award thing but i’m so flattered to be nominated by these women, as their blogs are just wonderful, that i will make an exception.

the rules are as follows:

  • tell seven things about yourself
  • nominate 487 other bloggers
  • that’s it, i think

seven things about me:

  1. i haven’t had sex since february
  2. i haven’t had coffee since 9:30
  3. i fantasise about posting pictures of my dick on this blog but have never had the guts
  4. i know how to measure the speed of light with a microwave and some proccessed cheese
  5. i am going to masturbate to the gravatar pictures of anyone who likes or comments on this post – you have been warned
  6. minds turn me on more than bodies
  7. i sneezed so hard this morning that my glasses flew off and landed in the toilet bowl
  8. an ex once super-glued my hand to my cock in my sleep
  9. i have only recently learned that women get sexier and more beautiful as they get older
  10. i can’t count to seven
  11. three of these things are not true (but this might be one of them)

nominations:
i’m afraid i can’t nominate anyone as i never actually read any of the shite you guys write.

from now on i will only be accepting nominations for awards if they come accompanied by pictures of the nominee’s bare breasts or cum drenched pricks – ideally both.

thank you again to audrina1759 and Maarit-Johanna for nominating me, and if you do not already follow these girls, do so now, or i will have you killed.

108 responses

  1. Your flying glasses made me spew coffee on my computer screen. Bet you like that idea. Happy wanking Kyle πŸ™‚

    12.08.05 at 06.51

    • i love that idea anette, i hope your laptop is ok though – thank you, your gravatar is by far the sexiest and the one i will linger longest on πŸ˜‰

      12.08.05 at 07.00

      • Flipped Maggie over real fast before coffee had a chance to make shit with high technology. Hey, dang! I was just thinking “wonder if an “a” is worth a wank”…

        12.08.05 at 07.07

        • your’s is πŸ˜‰

          12.08.05 at 07.27

  2. You are completely vulgar…and I’m going to choose which 3 aren’t true…and I feel you should have an award. You are SO uninhibited

    12.08.05 at 02.18

    • hey thanks – be warned that some of my posts are even more uninhibited and vulgar than this one and thanks for adding your gravatar to my collection πŸ˜‰
      i’ll give you a clue, i can count to seven – now you only have to guess two πŸ™‚

      12.08.05 at 06.26

  3. PAZ

    Me gusta el numero seis! πŸ˜‰

    12.08.02 at 02.20

    • el nΓΊmero seis es el favorito de mayo

      12.08.02 at 05.47

      • PAZ

        who is mayo?

        12.08.02 at 08.27

        • haha i don’t know. its google translated from “my favourite is #6 too” lol

          12.08.02 at 08.28

          • PAZ

            spanish? that ain’t spanish sweet kyle. it’s mio. hehe

            12.08.02 at 08.36

          • PAZ

            close enough though. πŸ™‚

            12.08.02 at 08.36

            • hehe – google recognised it as spanish – teach me how to speak mio please

              12.08.02 at 08.37

              • PAZ

                That google translate can be tricky. Mayo is May. Sure I’ll give you some pointers. Teach me British lol

                12.08.02 at 08.40

  4. moi loves your modesty – it’s o’so sticky glue hehe

    12.08.01 at 22.30

  5. gypsy116

    I nominated you for an award, http://gypsy116.wordpress.com/2012/08/01/7-things-about-me-award/, I would trade you pics for your participation. I have plenty of my breasts laying around, unfortunately I couldnt find any of my “cum drenched prick”

    12.08.01 at 18.44

    • i nearly fell for that but then i realised that you mean pictures of your tattoos – you still may have a deal tho β™₯

      12.08.01 at 20.02

      • gypsy116

        lol, I tried to make it vague on purpose, but I really do have lots of pictures of me. I did some nude modeling when I was younger. Not a big deal, anyone can see them if they look hard enough.

        12.08.01 at 20.07

  6. unfetteredbs

    Thank you for the laughter this morning.. especially the comments.. good stuff

    12.08.01 at 05.57

    • the comments are better than my post, by a long way.
      glad i made you laugh

      12.08.01 at 06.38

  7. Gravatar Masturbation…

    Mastavar!

    Sounds a bit like the French word for spelunking, if you ask me. Maybe it’ll be the next Olympic sport. πŸ˜‰

    12.07.31 at 20.03

    • or do you mean the cunnilypimcs?

      12.08.01 at 05.46

      • Uhmmm…

        YES, please! πŸ˜‰

        12.08.01 at 18.51

    • i am honoured to be nominated by you, but please check out my penultimate paragraph. i can only accept awards when these conditions are met
      seriously though, thanks. it means a lot but i got a lot of work on and my next half dozen posts or so already planned – no disrespect meant at all, i just think these awards can turn into chain letters – i love that you dig my blog, please know that i dig your’s too

      12.08.01 at 11.10

      • Totally understand. More a thought than an expected task. I dig your blog as well.

        That enough? πŸ˜€

        12.08.01 at 11.21

        • more than – thanks πŸ˜€

          12.08.01 at 11.38

          • Go to any local fast food store in South Carolina, and ask for ketchup or napkins…those chicks want to beat the breaks off you. It is pretty intense.

            12.08.04 at 12.58

            • i’ll have to pay a visit

              12.08.04 at 13.39

  8. organicgenerationteam

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    12.07.31 at 14.50

  9. History of the Ancient World

    LOL πŸ˜€ Thank you for your kind words Kyle..and Thanks for the laughs…xx

    12.07.31 at 11.28

    • any time – thanks for your comment and your ‘like’ πŸ˜‰ xx

      12.07.31 at 11.33

  10. Breasts and a penis on one person? Send me that pic! Wait, on second thought…
    How is it one gets so many followers and awards? I’m switching my writing style. : )

    12.07.30 at 23.48

    • oh, i’d love to see that jenni

      12.07.31 at 04.53

  11. As you’ll see from My Gravatar…this is God speaking. I bid Thee to manually ministrate to Mine.

    But I warn Thee…when Thee finishes…it’s My turn and I’m cumming ‘after’ Thee.

    Thee best find Thee an umbrella!

    So it is written…

    12.07.30 at 21.54

    • but rhonda, your gravatar arouses me spiritually – its as if it gives my very soul an erection

      12.07.30 at 21.58

      • TemptingSweets99

        LOL! The two of you are funny! Rhonda, that was a good one. ;-D

        12.07.30 at 22.01

        • πŸ˜† Thanks Sweets!

          12.07.30 at 22.03

      • Ha! Then Thee has the soul of a dick!

        12.07.30 at 22.50

  12. I had to like this one – had to help you out with the whole masturbating thing since it’s sort of my specialty…

    Yes, minds are more of a turn on (I refuse to believe that one could be false)!

    12.07.30 at 21.43

    • and thank you for that, you have made my night. they say that if you spend more than 10,000 hours practising a particular skill, then you can count yourself an expert… well, i’ve put in the hours…

      damn right. no such thing as a silicon personality implant

      12.07.30 at 21.47

  13. Christopher De Voss

    Amen to the sexy older women. Oh, and Amen to the sexy younger women as well. I guess…amen to women.

    12.07.30 at 21.35

    • hallefuckinglujah

      12.07.30 at 21.37

      • workspousestory

        Ha.
        You both are sweet πŸ˜‰ I know it’s very late, but I maybe my gravatar can still get some?

        12.08.07 at 13.08

        • oh, count on it

          12.08.07 at 13.10

          • workspousestory

            Hopefully not to seven, I might lose you in the process

            12.08.07 at 13.13

            • then in your case, you can count to just 1 x

              12.08.07 at 13.14

              • workspousestory

                Ah. More like it x

                12.08.07 at 13.18

                • your gravatar, is without doubt the hottest – i dread to think what more than feet would do to me x

                  12.08.07 at 13.20

                  • workspousestory

                    Liar. I’m pretty sure you declared a few other gravatars here the hottest already πŸ˜‰ but, always nice to have my ego stroked. Other places too.

                    12.08.07 at 13.23

                    • then i will have to lick your ego too then – other gravatars were only hotter before yours πŸ˜‰

                      12.08.07 at 13.30

                    • workspousestory

                      Damn. It’s getting hot in here.

                      12.08.07 at 13.33

  14. Haha…this was great!!!

    12.07.30 at 21.34

  15. TemptingSweets99

    Untrue: 1, No sex since February. 2. No coffee since 9:30. 10. Can’t count to seven.

    3. Oh, go ahead and do it! I’ll be cheering for you. πŸ˜‰
    5. You masturbating now? πŸ˜€
    7. So, what did you do after that?
    8. I know how to unglue super glue. What did you do?
    9. Yes, we do. πŸ˜€

    12.07.30 at 21.08

    • not telling. maybe its 11 which means it might not be three. it might be all of them. it might be none, but i love you for the three you selected πŸ˜‰

      3. maybe i’ll raffle that pic
      5. well, i am now i have your comment
      7. no choice, had to fish them out, damn frames cost Β£150
      8. please tell me how, i’ve been typing one handed for months now
      9. yes you really do

      12.07.30 at 21.35

      • TemptingSweets99

        Ohhh! Now, I’m pouting because you won’t tell me what’s true or not. However, I see that the super glue episode is untrue. LOL! I think I’ll hold on to the remedy for a little while. πŸ˜›

        12.07.30 at 22.26

        • oh please tell – i’ll superglue it myself just to discover your remedy

          12.07.30 at 22.35

          • TemptingSweets99

            LOL! Well, since you made me laugh… After super gluing something by accident, I discovered that olive oil (or probably any kind of cooking oil) did the trick in ungluing the pieces. I applied layer over layer of the oil on the affected area. While doing this, I discovered that one needs patience. I invoked the gods, prayed out loud, cried a little, and voila! It worked! Please do NOT superglue yourself, to see if this works. LOL! I was just glad it worked for me. πŸ˜€

            12.07.30 at 22.52

  16. Oops! I forgot about #5.

    12.07.30 at 20.18

    • too late πŸ˜‰

      12.07.30 at 20.22

  17. TheOthers1

    At least you’re honest. I just wish my toes were sexier for your manual ministrations.

    12.07.30 at 20.12

    • your toes are just perfect for my manual ministrations (mind if i pinch that phrase? so much classier than ‘wanking’, don’t you think?)

      12.07.30 at 20.23

      • TheOthers1

        Sure. Pinch away. πŸ™‚

        12.07.31 at 05.50

  18. Bro… re: the last line…. Bring it… πŸ™‚ As for the rest, other than what I assume is a personal quirk (not capitalizing “i”, it is all grammatically correct, for the most part…. Interesting characteristics you’ve listed for yourself…. I agree totally with #9 and #10. As for #4, I’d be interested in hearing a description of that process. In response to #5, well, it’s your Vaseline…. Take care…. I’ll check out your nominators’ sites, always enjoy a new read…. Hope you get more comments, I’m afraid my gravatar may not inspire you for long….

    12.07.30 at 20.11

    • glad you appreciated the little paradox in the last line, and thanks for constructive remarks, which were illuminating as always. please do check out those blogs, they are both well worth reading and following, and neither of them will threaten to defile you gravatar. as for me, i think you are being rather tough on yourself, your gravatar is worthy of printing out and laminating πŸ˜†

      12.07.30 at 20.27

      • πŸ™‚ I might even enjoy being laminated; one never knows, do one? And I certainly will check them out; in fact have already navigated to their pages, on my most excellent multitasking browser, but haven’t had the time to read any yet… hasta luego, mon ami….

        12.07.30 at 22.02

        • take care my friend

          12.07.30 at 22.03

    • cover the floor of the microwave with processed cheese – microwave for 20 seconds – measure the distance between 2 melted regions to get the wavelength and multiply by the oven’s frequency (found on the back)

      12.07.30 at 20.32

      • Very cool…Does it work if a plate is used, or is the floor necessary? Just wondering… baked cheese can be tough to clean up, even when used in a good cause… Does the government know this?

        Thanks for sharing this… I think you should sell the idea to MacGyver, he could figure out a way to use it in a daring escape…. or not…. πŸ™‚

        12.07.30 at 22.07

        • love the macgyver idea. the speed of light can be googled without any need to scrape baked cheese from anything, but if you’re looking for new things to do with a microwave, it will help educate inform, and entertain children of most ages, as will placing a raw egg in one (microwave, not child).

          i also know how not to kill an ant in a microwave

          12.07.30 at 22.41

          • Aye, we all like explosions, it’s a human thing, I think… I am interested in how to not kill an ant, as I’m against torture of live creatures, feelings or no, and I know that enough time in a microwave will kill almost anything, badly….so, how not?…

            12.07.30 at 22.51

  19. clownonfire

    Kyle,
    Good luck jerking off to my gravatar.
    Le Clown

    12.07.30 at 19.53

    • but yours is my favourite

      12.07.30 at 19.53

      • clownonfire

        Kyle,
        Then give it a few shots. Enjoy.
        Le Clown

        12.07.30 at 19.55

        • luck, my friend, has nothing to do with it. its all about skill and natural talent

          12.07.30 at 22.43

          • deviantdiaries

            OMG I have paused so many times in this comment thread to laugh my daughter thinks there’s something wrong with me (nothing new there). Thanks for always bringing a laugh to my day Kyle I adore you!

            12.07.31 at 13.34

            • and i adore you too d – i think perhaps there is something wrong with you. i hope so.

              12.07.31 at 13.46

              • deviantdiaries

                LOL one can only hope my dear πŸ™‚

                12.07.31 at 14.59

      • I just went on a funny, bad date. I was gonna download some porn, but since both of your gravatars are on the same page….

        12.07.30 at 20.09

        • a funny, bad date? sounds like fertile blog post material…. lucky you, two of wordpress’s hottest properties on one page (and don’t forget gigoid while your at it πŸ˜‰ )

          12.07.30 at 20.21

        • clownonfire

          La La,
          Enjoy. Don’t say I’ve never done anything nice for you.

          Le Clown

          12.07.30 at 22.54

        • clownonfire

          La La,
          Alright, Kyle’s blog takes cum shots, but not html… So here, a direct link: http://i1226.photobucket.com/albums/ee415/frogforum/Gravatars.jpg
          Le Clown

          12.07.30 at 22.55

          • Oh man, I am going to have nightmares about that!

            12.07.30 at 23.35

            • deviantdiaries

              La La…me too…I made the mistake of clicking the damn link!

              12.07.31 at 13.36

              • the bastard child of le clown and mr mew is a nightmarish concept indeed.
                look out ladies, le mew is born, or should that be le meux?

                12.07.31 at 13.50

                • deviantdiaries

                  La “Ewwwww” (no offense) πŸ˜€

                  12.07.31 at 15.05

                  • workspousestory

                    Ha! Well said.

                    12.08.07 at 13.28

                    • deviantdiaries

                      thanks πŸ™‚

                      12.08.08 at 16.57

          • Mon Dieu, quelqu’un tirer sur la gΓ’chette! Vite!

            12.07.31 at 14.38

            • clownonfire

              Rhonda,
              TouchΓ©. Et rapidement, svp!
              Le Clown

              12.07.31 at 14.41

              • Mais vous Γͺtes pas peur m. Le Clown? Vos meilleures parties sont collΓ©es Γ  la Mew

                12.07.31 at 15.01

                • clownonfire

                  Rhonda,
                  Le Mew est plus beau avec les belles parties de Le Clown.
                  Le Clown

                  12.07.31 at 15.02

                  • Mais bien entendu m. Le Clown.

                    Rhonda

                    12.07.31 at 15.08

                    • clownonfire

                      Rhonda,
                      Tu es une amie.
                      Le Clown

                      12.07.31 at 15.08

                    • m. Le Clown
                      le meilleur type, je dis toujours la vΓ©ritΓ©
                      Rhonda

                      12.07.31 at 15.12

                  • i have no idea what you guys are talking about, but yesy, i am the best

                    12.07.31 at 15.08

                    • clownonfire

                      Kyle,
                      My mom can vouch for that.
                      Le Clown

                      12.07.31 at 15.09

                    • i love you clownonfire

                      12.07.31 at 15.10

          • PAZ

            ha!

            12.08.02 at 02.26

    • hehehe

      12.07.30 at 21.50

      • clownonfire

        Auntie Sandor,
        Hi! Don’t think about Kyle jerking off on me. Happy thoughts, auntie, happy thoughts.
        Le Clown

        12.07.30 at 21.52

      • you’re next sandee – damn, this is gonna be an exhausting (but fun) night πŸ˜‰

        12.07.30 at 21.52

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