Posts tagged “euphemisms

Ode to masturbation

bash the bishop, spank the monkey,
slap the salami and tickle your pickle.
by any other name
it would be just as beautiful.

polish the pearl, pump the keg.
slam the clam and beat the meat.
by and other name
it would be just as sweet

clap your clit and flick your bean
jack off, jill off, hit the slit
whatever you call it
just fucking do it

inspired by this wonderful piece

Let me pull down your menu

I click on my pop-up a bit,
Before I drag you across my desktop
And pull down your menu
And show you my hardware.
The google Earth will move
When I double click your button
and download your software.
My disc will not be floppy
As I upload my hard drive into your cloud.
Your source will be open
As I stick my large file in your dropbox.
I will try not to come in your icon,
or give you a virus though.