Posts tagged “fuck the rest of britian

You know you’re from London when:

  • You are angry that you can’t get a haircut at three in the morning.
  • You can buy weed more easily than you can milk or eggs.
  • You can buy crack more easily than you can buy weed.
  • You come home from the shops without noticing that its Christmas day until you turn the TV on.
  • You learn how to do fractions as a child by buying eighths and sixteenths of hash in the school yard.
  • You don’t understand why people from other places walk so slowly.
  • You think that waiting more than a minute for a bus is an outrage.
  • You are baffled by how out of towners could possibly get lost in London.
  • The only countryside you need is on the TV.
  • You are polite to tourists when they ask for directions but always send them in the wrong direction.
  • You know its monday morning because only half the people you meet are drunk.
  • You support tube strikes but you fight old ladies to get on that replacement bus.
  • You think smiling should be made illegal in public.
  • You don’t even notice when white kids call other white kids ‘nigger’.
  • You think talking to strangers is a sign of mental illness.
  • You think people who do not dress in grey or black should be executed.
  • You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multiligual.
  • You have no idea where Buckingham Palace is.
  • You eat take outs from 15 different cultures and never have to travel more than a quarter of a mile.
  • You’ve never been on the London Eye.
  • You think 2 AM is way too early for a supermarket to close.
  • You don’t understand why tourists stare at some buildings or why they are taking photographs.
  • When you have Biryani for breakfast.
  • You want to kill people who call Angel, The Angel.
  • The police only ever stop and search you when you’re with your black mates.

inspired by this post from the awesome snarkysnatch