Posts tagged “fun

Lioness

She is like a starving lioness, craving the kill, desperate for the taste of blood, the sensation of tearing flesh and the sweet stench of terror from her prey. She needs to feed. She longs to devour and feast. She needs to eat. Her hunger so strong that it hurts, consuming her every waking moment and drenching her dreams. It’s the only thing she can think about. She simply has to feel her teeth sinking into soft, terrified flesh. It’s in her very nature, to choke and kill and devour. She has no choice in the matter. It is who she is and it is what makes her so beautiful.

The best thing about her is that she’s coming round later tonight for what she describes as a barbecue. I’m just a little puzzled, as I don’t have a yard, but I’m sure she knows what she’s talking about, and I can’t wait to find out.


Reward and punishment

i long for your rewards,
i fear your punishment.
your control is total
and obedience guaranteed.
but what will you ask?
how much of me
will you demand?
will you push me to my limits?
will you test your own?
i do not know.
how dark is your imagination?
or how far you will go?
i just know,
i want you to take me there.


Eurotrash douche hipster

I got my first piece of hate mail, and I have to say I was as delighted as I was proud. Bravely commenting as an anonymous user on my recent poem about breasts, this brilliant fellow called me a Eurotrash, douche hipster who looks like a sloppy version of DeNiro’s character in Taxi Driver. I almost peed myself  with delight. I am seriously considering using this quote on my about page. I tried to track him down, so I could thank him properly, but his IP address only led me to Baltimore. I have a few pals there, but I know it can’t be any of them, as they can all actually write.  Really, I would recommend reading the whole comment, it is hilarious and there is a wonderful line about me writing horrible poetry about sex to make up for my lack of a life. Feel free to reply to his lovely comment, and, if you are reading Mr Anonymous, please come back and say more, I think you are fantastic and I would love to give you a guest spot.


Scriggle

“You will scriggle!”
“And what is that?”
“Its a word
that i just made up.”
“And what does it mean,
this word of yours, scriggle?”
“It means,
when you come,
you’ll half scream
and half giggle!”


This is what i love about the internet

Just had to blog about this wonderful site a friend shared with me today. This sweet and simple little idea really cheered me up at a time when I really needed it.

I think most people probably know it and, as usual, I am probably the last human on the planet to have discovered it. Sure, it is puerile and pointless and does nothing. Maybe it even makes light of some peoples’ real problems but I kept on clicking on it and I swear it made me feel better.

However, another friend pointed out that the idea is messing with the observer paradox, which when you think about it, it kinda does.

Maybe this site is fucking with the fabric of the universe itself.

Maybe I give a shit?

Try it and tell me it don’t work…

thanks for reading, whoever you are