Posts tagged “gigging

Flash fiction challenge

This post is part of the Flash Fiction Challenge set by Reality in Progress.

The prompt is:

  • Topic – A Misunderstanding
  • Word count – 214
  • Mood – Hecticity
  • Genre – Comedy

My worst gig ever.

There was this festival a few years back, can’t remember what it was called, somewhere up in Yorkshire, in a wood. There had been a misunderstanding and the organisers had thought I was a musician rather than a comic, but I was there anyway, so I might as well go on, and I needed the money.

Stand up never goes down well at music festivals and I was uncharacteristically  nervous. I was on after a band called ‘Crowbar Abortion’  and everyone was very drunk. The crowd hated me and started booing and throwing things at me. Then this bloke climbed up onto the stage, told a joke of his own that offended everybody, and then pulled down his pants and started to pleasure himself. Except he couldn’t get an erection, so he stood there tugging away at his flaccid member and getting a lot more laughs than I was.

Next, this woman, who for some reason was dressed as an aardvark, she’d been dressed like that all day, jumped up on stage, rugby tackled him and started slapping him around the face. This didn’t stop him though, quite the opposite and he  continued to merrily toss himself off as she beat him up. All the while I was still trying to perform my act.