Posts tagged “masturbation

A Taste

we meet in secret, in a hotel room – you give me a peck on the cheek and tell me that as long as i do everything you say, we can meet again. if i hesitate, or fail in the slightest and you will leave and i will never see you again.

you have me undress and lay on the bed, already erect, as your eyes take in my cock, bouncing eagerly on my belly with anticipation – you step forward and blindfold me – i hear you moving and the sound of your clothes falling to the floor. i ask if you’re naked, and you tell me not to speak.

i feel you climbing onto the bed, and you tell me that i am not to touch you, that i am not to touch myself. i am not even allowed to move unless told to – you kneel over me, your legs straddling mine, looking down at me trembling with excitement, my member fit to burst.

you stroke my chest softly, with the tips of you fingers, feel my heart pounding rapidly, the way a wild beast might pound its cage in an effort to be free. you sweep your fingers down over my belly, stopping just short of my twitching shaft. you run both your hands down my sides and up over me, stopping even closer this time. you do this, again and again, getting nearer and nearer, until the lightest touch would have me overflow.

i can tell, by the way you are breathing more heavily and the light trembling of the bed, what you are doing to yourself. you remind me again, with the hint of a gasp in your voice, not to touch you and not to touch myself, knowing just how much i long to – through the mattress i feel your hips start to rock back and forth and hear your light, open-mouthed gasps reflect off the ceiling and know you have your head tilted back in ecstasy.

you lean forward, supporting yourself with your other hand on the headboard and plant the tiniest of kisses on my quivering lips. i can feel your hair brush against my skin and your breath, like sweet steam, on my cheek – your mouth hovers over mine as your orgasm erupts through you, spreading like molten, bubbling lava, to the very tips of your fingers and toes – your orgasmic moans are soft, breathy and almost whisper-like, but there is no mistaking the pleasure they portray, as you pant and pulsate over me, your body on fire with delight.

before you climb off me, you sweep a glistening fingertip over my lips, barely touching them but giving me a tantalising taste of heaven, as i lay there gasping with a mixture of unbearable frustration and momentous delight. you dress silently, still shaking with excitement, and exit the room without a sound, leaving me in the dark, glued to the spot with fear of losing you, my erection still raging like a hungry wolf.

it is only hours later when i hear an awkward cough that is not yours, that i dare take off the blindfold. only to see the ugly old, toothless maid, who has come to clean the room, standing at the end of the bed, mouth gaping and eyes bulging at the sight of my still stiff, still trembling body.


Just while i finish…

i had to go to the doctor’s today – i hate it, the depression of the waiting room, the risk of catching a cold, all the posters reminding me of all the horrible diseases and afflictions, i could, and probably will end up getting. most of all, i hate the wait. i know they’re busy and the service is stretched, but to be surrounded by miserable looking fuckers, coughing and sneezing over me is just a shitty way to spend the best part of a morning – thank fuck i’ve got minecraft on my phone, at least.

eventually, i get to see my doctor. she is a hot young asian woman, and, thanks to the recent mild weather, is displaying a cleavage that i could happily spend six months in. this makes discussing personal matters rather awkward, and after several minutes watching her staring, uncomfortably, at her computer display, she turns to me and breaks the news. “i’m very sorry mr mew, but you are going to have to stop masturbating.” i’m flabbergasted.
“what?” i exclaim, “why?” my world collapsing around me, “forever?”
“no, not forever, mr mew,” she sighs, almost scowling, “just while i finish examining you.”

 

 


Fitness centre

i have worked at the fitness centre for five years and know all the best places to hide and watch women changing or showering. i have never been caught before, but you are sharper than most and spot me in my hiding place and drag me out, in front of the other women in the changing room, to the accompaniment of much laughter and sneering.

most of you giggle at my naked form and twitching erection, a few of you look quite angry, although one or two have looks of genuine desire in your eyes. you ask me what i was doing and even though i can only stutter, you all know that i was jerking off, as i spied on you all changing. you demand that i continue, in front of you all, and this suggestion is met with a round of cheers and more laughter. i try to protest but you pick up a hockey stick and i can see by the steel in your eyes that you wouldn’t hesitate for a second to beat me with it. one or two of the girls, that were angered at my intrusion, pick up their sticks too, and i realise that i have no choice but to perform in front of you all.

i start to stroke my cock up and down. tentatively at first, closing my eyes against the giggles and jeers, but when i look about, i realise how beautiful the sight before me is. i am surrounded by women of all ages and shapes, in various states of undress, and i start to thrill to the whole idea. my eyes fill themselves and almost drown in ageing thighs and chubby arms, breasts, old and young alike define themselves through towels and underwear and i realise just how gloriously beautiful all women are, regardless of age or shape.

i hear one of you clap their hands together in delight as my cock squirts its first stream of cum and i shiver with delight to the sound of gasps and giggles, my knees trembling and cum dripping through my fingers and spraying into the air. afterwards you tell me that unless i want my boss to know about my sick little games, then i am to come back at the same time tomorrow, so that you can humiliate me further.


Splash


Some award or other

thank you audrina of audrina1759’s blog and Maarit-Johanna of history of the ancient world for nominating me for some award or other. normally i don’t do the award thing but i’m so flattered to be nominated by these women, as their blogs are just wonderful, that i will make an exception.

the rules are as follows:

  • tell seven things about yourself
  • nominate 487 other bloggers
  • that’s it, i think

seven things about me:

  1. i haven’t had sex since february
  2. i haven’t had coffee since 9:30
  3. i fantasise about posting pictures of my dick on this blog but have never had the guts
  4. i know how to measure the speed of light with a microwave and some proccessed cheese
  5. i am going to masturbate to the gravatar pictures of anyone who likes or comments on this post – you have been warned
  6. minds turn me on more than bodies
  7. i sneezed so hard this morning that my glasses flew off and landed in the toilet bowl
  8. an ex once super-glued my hand to my cock in my sleep
  9. i have only recently learned that women get sexier and more beautiful as they get older
  10. i can’t count to seven
  11. three of these things are not true (but this might be one of them)

nominations:
i’m afraid i can’t nominate anyone as i never actually read any of the shite you guys write.

from now on i will only be accepting nominations for awards if they come accompanied by pictures of the nominee’s bare breasts or cum drenched pricks – ideally both.

thank you again to audrina1759 and Maarit-Johanna for nominating me, and if you do not already follow these girls, do so now, or i will have you killed.


Get in here

i have the camera positioned just right and i can see you perfectly, as you spread out naked on your bed and start to stroke yourself between your legs. i just hope i’ve hidden it well enough for you not to spot it, you don’t seem to as you slide two fingers into your dripping pussy and then moisten your clit with them.

i lean into the screen to see you better and grab hold of my cock, which feels hot and desperate in my fingers. you rub yourself harder and i groan to myself at the sheer beauty of you. i long to be there with you, long for my lips to be where your fingers are, wish that i could hear your sweet moans of pleasure.

i pump my cock in time to the glorious rhythm of the rising and falling of your thrusting hips, your back arched, your fingers playing greedily with your whole pussy, plunging deep into yourself, passionately and wildly. i almost come spontaneously when you stop to take a taste of yourself and i have to slow right down so that i can come at the same time you do.

I can tell that you’re close by the way you writhe, the way your thighs shake, the way the way the fingers of your other hand dig deep into the sheets beneath you. I am close to coming too, i can feel my toes curling and my cock pulsing fiercely when, suddenly, you stop, sit up and look straight into the camera. you lean over and write something on a sheet of paper and hold it up for me to see. on it are the words ‘GET IN HERE!’ you don’t look happy and i know i am in a lot of trouble. i put my shorts on but you can still see my erection poking through when i walk through into your room. “take those ridiculous things off and stand there.” you say, gesturing to the end of the bed.

you lie back and spread your legs, raising your knees and start slipping your fingers in and out of your glistening pussy, watching how i drink in the sight with my eyes. i take hold of my throbbing member but you tell me “no” and climb onto all fours, facing me. you run a single, soaked finger down the length of my twitching prick and blow on it and then plant a tiny kiss on the tip, letting it tremble agaisnt you lips. then you open your mouth a little more, taking more of me inside you. i feel your teeth gripping it lighty and your tongue caressing it. you kneel up and face me, sliding your sweet, wet fingers over my mouth and nostrils and then throw yourself back onto the bed and bring yourself close to orgasm in front of me. in between your heavy pants and gritted screams, just before you are about to explode, you say three words to me “now, fuck me!”


The top 10 saddest things I ever wanked to

  • the women’s fa cup final
  • kerry katona drunk on this morning
  • the russian grannies on eurovision
  • the news
  • the weather
  • photos of my ex on vacation with her new guy
  • the queen’s speech (any year)
  • the jeremy kyle show
  • pride and prejudice (the novel, not the movie)
  • sarah palin

How I love

god, how i love
looking at you.
god, how i want
just to touch you.
god, how i need
to hold you so tight.
without you
i can’t get through the night.

god, how i love
how we have so much fun.
god, how i love
watching you come.
god, how i love
the way that we click.
god, how i love
playing with my prick.


Empty bed

I wake
In an empty bed,
But
I wake
With you on my mind
And so,
I wake
With a smile
And a hard on.

I sleep
In an empty bed,
But
I sleep
With you in my dreams
And so,
I dream
Of fucking you
Up the ass.


Ode to masturbation

bash the bishop, spank the monkey,
slap the salami and tickle your pickle.
by any other name
it would be just as beautiful.

polish the pearl, pump the keg.
slam the clam and beat the meat.
by and other name
it would be just as sweet

clap your clit and flick your bean
jack off, jill off, hit the slit
whatever you call it
just fucking do it

inspired by this wonderful piece