Posts tagged “Mental health

Beer mat

It was a dodgy kinda pub, you know the sort, dark and seedy, old men nursing their half pints so as to make them last the whole evening, or topping up their glasses from cans in a bag under the table, but I was meeting the man there, so there wasn’t much I could do except grin and bear it.

When I got up to visit the bathroom, several heads spun silently in my direction, beady eyes weighing up my pint greedily. I sat back down and flipped over a beer mat. On the back I wrote, in simple block letters “I HAVE SPAT IN THIS BEER”, propped it up against the glass and went and took a leak.

When I got back, my drink remained untouched. I grinned, I was way to smart for these lowlifes, I thought. I took the card and laid it back on the grubby Formica. I took three long gulps of the cool, golden liquid and then noticed that underneath my words on the beer mat, someone had written the words “SO HAVE WE”.


Why we don’t need Facebook, but why I do

I spend most of my life on Farcebook, and being banned, even for a short time, prevented me from playing with a lot of my friends.

In a tiny way, I went through ‘the five stages of grief’:

  • denial: I tried instantly to message someone – the result was an automated message from fb threatening to bar me for longer if i tried it again
  • Anger: I decided never to go on Fartbook again
  • Bargaining: I tried to mail them – but you cannot
  • Depression: I really missed some of my friends and sulked around the house – I ended up doing the washing up and the hoovering
  • Acceptance: I finally understood that Facebook is not a piece of holy scripture, it is not the bloody constitution: its a social networking website – and nothing more

go get yourself banned from Fuckbook… I dare you.