Posts tagged “the truth

Please Jesus will you just fuck off

Her: Hello Sir.
Me: Hello.
Her: Thank you for answering the door. We are here to tell you some fantastic news.
Me: Is this about religion?
Her: No Sir, this is about Jesus.
Me: That’s not religion then?
Her: No Sir, we have great news for you.
Me: Have I won the lottery?
Her: Better than that Sir.
Me: Have I won two lotteries?
Her: Have you read the bible?
Me: Yes.
Her: So you are a believer then?
Me: Of course not, I’ve read the bible.
Her: Jesus died for you sins Sir.
Me: Did he? I better commit a few more of them then, make it worth his while.
Her: This is not a joking matter Sir, He really did.
Me: I wasn’t joking. Now, if you don’t mind, I was  busy masturbating just then-
Her: Thank you for time Sir. Have a nice day.


Is she?

is she fat or thin?
don’t care. is she beautiful?
Yes.
is she young or old?
don’t care. is she beautiful?
Yes.
is she black or white?
don’t care. is she beautiful?
Yes.
beautiful on the outside? because beautiful on the inside is what i want.
Dunno sir. its fifty bucks an hour, she can be as beautiful as you want.
Fuck you! she’s not here.